I (30s M) divorced my wife(40's F) early last year. She has been living with me since then and is now finally moving out. She was supposed to move into the same building as my daughter and I, at her insistence, so she could be close to our daughter. That was until she got a boyfriend. Now she's renting a place with this guy 45 minutes away instead of 25 feet away because, from her own statement, she wants to be able to have sex with him without it being in my building. I don't care about what she does with her boyfriend. I actually thought I would care more honestly, but I just don't. She was a pretty shit wife and I don't miss what we had. I'm shocked and angry at the complete change in her priorities now that she's got a bf. The only thing she asked for in our divorce was to get this apartment in my building to use until our daughter is 18. Now she doesn't want it, or the direct and easy access to her daughter it provides, so she can get laid.
Over the last two weeks since she told me where she was moving, I've just been angry. Realistically, she's barely going to be in our daughters life. A 45 min drive isn't a convenient distance. She's just not going to be around. The last few days haven't given me hope either. A few days ago she got a hotel room with her bf (he's moving up from a southern state) because they hadn't signed on their new apartment yet. She stopped by for a few minutes the next day...because she forgot her phone charger. She didn't see her daughter with whom she technically still lives with for the last 3 days of the year. No calls from her that I'm aware of either.
Today I got a text asking if it was ok if my ex could pick up my daughter to take her to the store tomorrow. She's never asked that before, ever. She'd just take her like any other normal parent. It reads to me like she's already abdicating her rights. I had expected that she'd try for a little while, couple months maybe, but now I don't even think she's going to try that hard. She laid out her plan for me last week about her timeline for moving out. She said she would be back tomorrow from the hotel to pack. I'm doubting that she's even going to be around to do that now.
I was doing ok with how she treated me. I was done with her, but I didn't hate her. It's so clear to me what she's doing right now and my daughter is going to be devastated when it sinks in, and I'm developing a strong hate for her. I'm not built for hate, and walking around boiling with rage and hate is hurting me. I'm angrier now than at any point in our failed marriage. No matter what she did to me, I could shoulder it because she was a good mother to my daughter. Now she is so into a new relationship fog that my daughter can't fail to notice that she chose her new bf over her child. My kid is smart. She's going to know what my ex has done.
People who have been in similar situations, where your ex-husband/ex-wife pulls out of your kids life like this, how do you manage your hate? How do you stop it from swallowing you whole? How do you stop yourself from losing your shit on your ex every time you interact with them? I don't want to hate my daughters mother, but I think that's unavoidable now. I've made it my entire life without genuinely hating any other person, until now.
TL;DR Crappy ex-wife removing herself from our daughters life and I can't stop myself from hating her
Submitted January 01, 2023 at 02:28PM by Poqwizredux https://ift.tt/erFftpc
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