I (30M) have no problem landing dates but can’t seem to get a girlfriend and it’s making me feel hopeless about ever finding someone

Hi all -

I’m 30 years old, an attorney, and I have my own apartment in Manhattan with my dog. I am six feet tall and conventionally attractive. I get a ton of matches on dating apps, so much so that I have to take breaks from the apps so I don’t get too overwhelmed. But despite all of that, I have for a long time been unable to translate any of this into a relationship or anything close.

I go on two or three dates a week, mostly from dating apps. I am respectful on the dates, ask questions, show interest, and always pay. Since moving to New York City this summer, I’ve been out with around 20 women.

Of the 20 women, a handful of them were mutual duds where neither of us were feeling it and we parted ways amicably. But most of the time - for around 15 of these 20 women - I was actually genuinely interested in the other person and received some semblance of “you’re great but not for me.” Here are some examples of my experiences:

Girl 1: Met via Hinge. First date: took her to dog park and walk with dog, followed by dinner at Mexican restaurant. Did not go in for kiss. Texted her for second date and she told me that she didn’t feel a connection.

Girl 2: Met via Hinge. First date: met at bookstore and walked around neighborhood. Long first date, 4-5 hours of engaging conversation. Did go in for kiss. Texted her saying I had a great time and was excited to see her again soon, and she never responded.

Girl 3: Met via Hinge. First date: Wine bar then walked around the park. Great energy and vibes. Went in for the hug, no kiss. Texted her for second date and she told me she had a really great time but is pursuing things with someone else.

Girl 4: Met via Hinge. First date: Hotel bar. Kissed her. Texted for second date and she told me she didn’t feel a connection.

Girl 5: Set up with coworker’s friend. First date was double date with coworker and her husband. Went to comedy show then drinks after. Got girl’s phone number from coworker. Second date was one-on-one dinner and drinks. Date was extremely positive, lasted around 6 hours. Kissed her at the end. Texted for third date and she told me we were looking for different things.

Girl 6: Met via Hinge. First date: Wine bar. Kissed her. Second date at comedy show. Invited her back to my apartment: Making out, no sex. Third date: Brunch, then went to her apartment, making out, no sex. Texted her for fourth date and she told me “I feel everything moved really fast for the first 3 dates and I got so swept up and didn’t necessarily have time to think. I can’t explain it other than a gut feeling but I don’t think this is going to work out.”

Girl 7: Met via Tinder (decided to switch it up). First date: Double-date with a friend at bar. Kissed her. Second date was dinner and drinks at restaurant near my apartment. Invited her over afterwards.Sat and talked for 30 minutes, then kissed for a few minutes. Her body language was off so I asked her if she was comfortable. She told me she had to go home and left abruptly. Texted to see her again and never heard back.

I feel like no matter what I do, I get the same result. White noise or a rejection text, and it’s really demolishing my self-esteem.

Am hoping someone can tell me what I am doing wrong here.

tldr: I have no problem landing dates but can’t seem to get a girlfriend and it’s making me feel really hopeless about ever finding someone

Submitted January 02, 2023 at 09:58PM by sensitiveguy125 https://ift.tt/t7N6MUj