So I (24M) have been dating my GF (23F) for a couple years now. It has been a really awesome and healthy relationship, and I feel very strongly that she is someone I can see myself spending the rest of my life with.
Now for context for what I am about to say, before getting into this relationship I had never been in a relationship or had any experience of intimacy ever with a woman before. I had also been rejected in some really bad ways growing up, and as a result became a really bitter and frankly hate filled person. As a result I became someone who would lurk around a spend time on inceI forums and subreddits and found myself becoming attached to these really hateful and misogynistic ideologies.
I spent about a year or two on these spaces online when I was 18 and 19 years old, before slowly starting to realize I was suffering from depression, and using my loneliness as an excuse to blame women and be a person I didn't want to be in a really hateful and bad way. I started going to therapy and detaching myself from this, and trying to become a much better person and I can definitely say that I think I have achieved this. My relationship with my GF that I have now I honestly consider a testament to this.
Now this past weekend my GF and I were drunk and playing drinking games together, and we played a game of truth or dare. When it was my turn of truth, I revealed that I was once an inceI years ago but grew out of it. My GF was taken aback by it, but we were also drunk and not privy to arguing about it. A few days later though my GF circles back to this and tells me how disgusted she was by the thought she's in a relationship with someone as vile as that. I told her that yes I had vile views about women at one point and I am ashamed of that, but that I have become a much better person since and that she has also helped me become that person that I aspired to be and that's what matters. She says that this is a cop out and that this is something I should have thought of or told her at some point. I told her I was sorry, but that I didn't want to ever come up because of how ashamed I was of it. We haven't talked in a day or two since.
I don't blame by GF for being upset at the thought I was once upon a time that guy. But I also pride myself on how I have changed and become a much better person. I hope this is something she doesn't hold so strongly against me, and that she knows me well enough to know I am not that guy anymore and that I would take all of that back if I had the chance. But can we move forward from this? I plan on going over to my GF's tomorrow to discuss this, but I need to know how I would even approach it.
TL;DR: I was an inceI years ago, but have since changed and long since recognize how awful a person I was for these views. My GF may not move past this however and I need to know how I can avoid it leading to her breaking up with me.
Submitted October 05, 2022 at 05:10PM by throwra4321679 https://ift.tt/43hZutd
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