TL;DR: Mom never came to any sports/recitals since I was too young to remember and still refuses to go to anything for me, and I wasn't allowed to have a sweet sixteen because she wasn't allowed to have one
I'm writing this because I don't know how to talk to her. Sometimes I feel sad and upset, but other times I don't think it's fair to be because I never lived her life, but it still hurts sometimes. Mom actually came to a few things when I was too young to remember but hasn't been to anything in almost 10 years. She took me to gymnastics when I was young, but she said that she couldn't do it anymore because it "hurt her" to have me there. I don't do gymnastics anymore, but grandma used to take me until I stopped a few years ago because dad decided to not go because mom said so
When we talked in the past, she said that her mom never let her do gym because she thought it was too revealing, but she tried to let me go when I was young only to change her mind. I had so many meets that they never came to and moments they were never there for, and it's not just gym. Mom didn't want me having a sweet sixteen because she thought that dressing up was "too early before marriage" and that it was all about "doing things too early" and how she never got one. I since started doing silks at a yoga studio that offered it, but they never came to any of my recitals too. I was asked to be a part of my studio's summer tour of performing in different places and would love for them to come, but I know that they won't. I just want them to come to something because it hurts to be alone even with grandma there. I love my mom and she always takes care of me otherwise, but how can I talk to her when I've already told her how I feel so so many times, but she can't see past her mom?
Edit: I was really excited when my studio asked me to be a part of their troupe this summer, but I'm not 100% sure that grandma can travel to all of the places that we'd be performing at (locally but still some travel) and when dad won't go either because mom doesn't want to. I don't mind going myself and will probably end up having to even tho it'll be lonely, but I just think that as I'm about to graduate we will have barely any memories like this together
Submitted February 28, 2022 at 08:28PM by throwraspeciali https://ift.tt/9ulPKnW
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