My (34F) boyfriend (32M) took me on vacation to meet his family but he ended up telling them I was his sister’s friend. His (ex)wife was also there.

We’ve been together on-and-off for 3 years. I’ve only ever met his sister before since his family live in a different country but every few months, he flies to see them and stays for over a month during the summer because his son comes to visit him then. The past year has been very crappy for everyone, and I didn’t want to be left alone while he went off to enjoy himself for 6 weeks without me. So I asked to go with him. This isn’t the first time I’ve asked but it was the first time he agreed.

We get there and his (ex)wife is there too. My bf and his ex-wife don’t speak AT ALL. They have a really awful relationship to the point where my bf’s mother is the go between for anything co-parenting related and my bf refuses to talk about her or their relationship at all. So we were both shocked that she was there and my bf flipped out at first (tbh, she was provoking him).

Things were already tense by the time he introduced me, and he ended up saying I was his sister’s friend. His sister went along with it, and I didn’t feel like it was my place to correct them. We ended up sleeping in separate rooms on basically the opposite sides of the house because of this. He was near his ex and son, I was near his sister. He was also extremely distant the whole time and continues to be distant. Also it doesn’t help that his sister told me a lot of information about his ex and their relationship which I doubt he would want me to know.

The only positive is that his son seemed to really like me and his ex definitely knew he was lying about who I was. The bad is that after all of these years, they still aren’t divorced AND he referred to her as “my wife” at one point. He also never came clean about our relationship and it seems like the channels of communication between his ex and him have officially been reopen because they do now speak about their child. It would be a lie to say I wasn’t feeling insecure/threatened right now. I really love him and I want us to have a future but I don’t know to address this with him. I feel like he’ll just blame it on the heat of the moment but that isn’t good enough for me. Also, I can hardly tell him not to talk to the mother of his child. How can I handle this?

TL;DR – Boyfriend took me to meet his family. His ex-wife was there and they got into a fight. He ended up telling everyone I was his sister’s friend and was distant the whole trip. Not sure how to address this now, especially since he is now communicating with his ex.

Submitted September 04, 2021 at 08:12AM by ThrowRAfriendofsis https://ift.tt/3yF5X9W