As a freshman, I was in a friend group with my then-bf. Said friend had a long-term GF and he never seemed interested in me, kind of a general friend, until one day we went to get groceries and he says something along the lines of "Your hair is beautiful in the sunlight". I brought up his gf and his response was, "We're not really dating" and "it was just a compliment". Later, when I first started dating my then-bf, he doubled down and started talking a lot about how his relationship was going really well and shared a lot of stories about her. I was honestly really happy for them and didn't think anything of it. He faded out of my life as my relationship progressed.
Well. My abusive relationship escalated and it wrecked my life. I dropped the semester and asked my friend at my lowest point if I could crash on his couch because I didn't feel safe and explained what was going on (and he had a female roommate who knew me). He responded with 3 emojis and turned me down, which well, is within his right.
Last year, I rejoined the college discord server and he hit me up after not talking for a year or two. News spread really fast and he apparently knew that I broke up with my ex, and congratulated me on getting out of it. He apologized for being a bad friend and we hung out once.
He hit me up a month or two later at 4 AM telling me that he liked me and that he wanted to ask me out that one time we hung out IRL.... after 2 years of not talking. I turned him down and he responded with "maybe one day in the future the stars will align". I told him that I'm fine with remaining friends if this didn't sour things and he said he'll respect the boundary.
He would still come off as flirty and would offer to buy or send me things. I ended up ghosting him and he would sporadically send me messages, with the most recent one being... screenshots of personality tests that show how he's become a better communicator throughout the years and "I thought you would find this interesting".
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Honestly, I was really fucked up about this.
My friends told me to just ignore his message and that nothing good will come out of responding. I kind of want to respond so that he knows at least why I'm choosing to not continue our friendship and why. Kind of a, "hey, I honestly felt really uncomfortable because I thought we reconnected to be friends and you were aware of where I was in terms of relationships. It feels like you only hit me up to try to date me and you left me out to dry during one of the worst moments of my life and when I turned you down, you kept trying to push the envelope. I'm sorry but I don't think we can be friends".
Tl;dr - Friend hit on me during his relationship and left me drowning when I reached out. He reconnected years later after I got out of my relationship, knew that I was only looking for a friendship and that I had experience with some of my male friends only being friends with me in hopes of a relationship but still asked me out shortly after. Ghosted him but want to tell him why.
Submitted May 06, 2021 at 10:58AM by OceanMolk https://ift.tt/3f1OWz2
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