Tldr: My secret boyfriend called my name while on call with my dad, and he heard it. I am not scared of what he will think and what will come after this. I hate that I am feeling like this, how do I stop feeling so scared of my dad?
I have been raised in quite a conservative culture. I moved out of that country when I was a teenager and I become more open for many different reasons. I also grew up very independent, my dad was there only physically. He wasn't really there emotionally or any other sort of way. He was just there because he had to be and doing the bare minimum. I am now living across the world from him, I have my own place, I make my own money and I only call him once every couple of weeks.
I got into a relationship with this AMAZING man in the last few months, and we moved in together. My dad doesn't know about him. He has mentioned before that he would disown me if I ever think of dating someone not from my culture.
Yesterday, while on a call with him, my boyfriend came home and called my name. My dad heard him, I managed to brush it off saying it was a friend and made up a bunch of excuses.
What's bothering me is that while all that happened, I was shaking. I was really scared and I felt like a little girl. I hated the fact that even though he has no presence in my life, he has such a powerful impact on me. I HATED IT and I HATED MY REACTION. He didn't say anything about this afterwards, but idk if he'll suspect anything!!
My question is; how do I stop being so scared of my dad? Even though, logically, if he cuts me off, nothing will change in my life. And I would dare to say that I would feel more free if he did.
Submitted May 01, 2021 at 06:26PM by dailystruggles007 https://ift.tt/3uc3EtC
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