My wife (F 43) and I (M 45) Have Been Sleeping Separately for Years; This Has Become A Problem for Her

My wife and I have been married for about 20 years and have had the typical ups and downs. Recently, though, conflict over sleeping arrangements that began about 7-8 years ago have created a wedge between us.

When my wife and I married, she would occasionally snore. It was something I noticed once in awhile but really no big deal.

About 7 or 8 years ago, her snoring got to the point where I was essentially not sleeping if I was in the same bed as her. For a number of reasons, however, she was resistant to talking to a doctor about the problem.

So simply to avoid exhaustion, I began sleeping on a futon/couch I had in my home office. I honestly didn't mind, and my wife generally seemed to be understanding.

After about 4 years of this, my wife's parents were diagnosed with sleep apnea and I kind of forced the issue with her about seeing a doctor and it turned out she also had sleep apnea.

She ended up with a CPAP machine that was almost as loud as the snoring, but was able to work with her doctor to find a model that was quieter and that I barely hear.

The problem is, though, that over those 4 years before the diagnoses and the year or so of finding a CPAP that was quieter, I became used to sleeping alone and I find it distracting/difficult to sleep with her now even though the original problem is solved.

Nothing about my feelings toward my wife have changed, but she interprets this as my rejecting her. I get that, but I genuinely find it difficult to fall asleep now if I am in bed with her after so many years of sleeping alone in the same house.

What should I do?

TL;DR! - My wife had severe snoring caused by undiagnosed sleep apnea. I ended up sleeping alone for years. I want to continue sleeping separately; she does not. What should I do?

Submitted April 24, 2021 at 09:24PM by datahoarderprime https://ift.tt/2PnznJa