My (36F) brother (39M) has never really worked, lives off my parents (62F, 70M) and feels entitled to everything they own. It's driving me nuts how selfish he is. What do I do?

Saying my brother is weird is an understatement. But I'll describe. Firstly, he had no friends in high school, he literally would come home and talk shit about all the guys in his class. Now, I actually knew a few of them since it was the same high school I was in and several of them were good decent guys.

However, the kinds of things he would say about them were disturbing to put it lightly. He'd say, Frank is so ugly and low class, his family are a bunch of uneducated nobodies. Things along those lines, putting down others in this condescending way.

Now he was smart in highschool and won a partial scholarship to an out-of-state College. However, it was only partial and my parents still had to take huge loans to support him.

I was young back then, but I didn't realize he made my parents pay for him to get his own apartment in the college town as opposed to doing what every college student does, which is stay in the dorms.

For my entire life, it irked me how full of himself and condescending he was to others. He'd talk shit about the college I attended (I chose to go over better colleges because it was far cheaper). He talked shit about my degree (Environmental Engineering) saying it wasn't real engineering like his field.

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My parents never told me, but my brother did not do well in college, he graduated with a 2.4GPA. And struggled to find to a job for years. He once had a technician job for just over a year, but then got laid off.

He then convinced my parents to pay for him to do his Masters. A 10 year loan they're still paying off today.

After his Masters, again he failed to get job.

Now I should I add, he's gay and has never had a stable relationship. I know nothing of his personal life, but what do I know is confusing as hell. At times he'd tell me he's slept with over 100 men, then other times he'd say he's only been with 3 and that the love of his life is married and can't be with him.

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For the last 6 years he's been living with his gay best friend (that's what he tells me) and living 100% of this guy. He has applied for no jobs, doesn't seem to care to want to work ever and seems to be strolling through life.

That's his choice and it's fine, but he promised twice to repay my parents for all the loans they took for him (It's definitely over 100k) and he has barely paid them back even 5%.

Now he and his gay best friend seemed to have broken up and he's back home living off my parents again.

I was divorced 2 years ago and lived at home for a few months. I always bought groceries, paid some bills, helped out around the house.

He on the other hand is using their money to, get this, pay an Olympic coach to train him at gym, go for expensive physical therapy for a minor injury he has, he's constantly ordering supplements, steroids, clothes, buying expensive groceries with my mom's credit card.

It's driving me nuts, I've added up what's he costing them in food and these expensive and it's well over $3000 a month!

And the worse part is that he feels utterly entitled to it. He once told me, he's the perfect son, he never disobeyed them, he did well in school and as far as he's concerned he did everything they wanted so they OWE him this now.

WOW

I have no one really to vent to because I don't like airing my families business, but I did tell my best friend and she totally thinks he's a narcissistic entitled douche bag.

However, there's another factor in all of this - my parents don't seem to mind. In fact, they've always been nicer to him than me.

They never make him feel guilty for spending, nor do they ever tell him he needs to find a job. They do vent to me about it, but they never confront him.

They're a huge part of the problem as they enable him. They lie to their friends and family telling them he's got an awesome job out of state and due to the pandemic he's working 'remotely'.

It's really really bothering me and I don't know what to do?

I want to either:

A. Confront him about it and tell him he needs to stop abusing my parents

B. Tell my parents to give him an ultimatum (however, I know that won't).

Seems like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Also, years ago he weaseled his way into my parent's will saying that the entire house and land should go to him because I'm married (well was) and he doesn't want an outsider to own their property.

I was flabergasted when my parents explained their/his reasoning to me but I never bothered to argue with him, I just left it.

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tldr;

My brother is a manipulative leech and is the most entitled and lazy person I know. He's living off my parents guilt-free and has no intentions to change. What do I do? Also what's wrong with him?

Submitted April 24, 2021 at 06:43PM by Training-Help-8658 https://ift.tt/3tRCJmz