Hello! Much less serious question than the ones I'm seeing on here - long time reader and first time poster.
My husband and I have been together for about 4 years. We are from different ethnic backgrounds - we cook for each other and both enjoy diverse palates but I have an aversion to some ingredients that are quite common in his culture's cuisine. I like his cooking, I like a lot of foods from his culture, I just choose foods that don't have the flavors I don't like.
He has always been fond of his mother's cooking but I hate it. I bit my tongue at every visit but her cooking entirely centers on the flavors that I dislike and it's prominent in every meal. Even vegetables are made to have sauces based on those flavors and there's nothing that is free from them. There's no variety about the flavor profile.
Some time ago, I breached that I didn't like his mom's cooking because of that and wanted some support from him to cook for myself or have some separated sauces/meals (i.e. some plain vegetables or anything really). He thinks that would be rude and wants me to tolerate it. I countered that if that's the case, then I don't want to stay for over 3 days. Normally we would stay for about 5 days if not longer. In the past when we visit, I have also tried to compromise - I have offered to cook but she adamantly declines because we're guests. We bring foods from our home that I cooked previously, they are eaten within one meal by the family and my partner feels it would be rude to bring portions that are larger. In the past, I've even suggested going out to eat or eating out with my partner to explore the area but his family values meals with family and doesn't like going out to eat/would be expensive during the length of the trips.
The status quo is that I pack a ton of snack foods and hide them in our space, fill up on those, eat loads of fresh fruits and any meals that lack the flavors that I dislike, and then always try to take some small amounts of the meals she cooks. I make a point to try everything and be open-minded and thank her. His family thinks I just have no appetite and have made little jokes about how when we go to eat at restaurants, I eat lots but when I'm at home, I eat little. At the end of a trip, I'm often grumpy from being uncomfortable and eager to leave.
We have another trip coming up for 5 days. I want to stay home myself or shorten the trip or to have my partner back me up when I offer to make something for all of us or even just myself. He thinks because I'm not allergic and it's just my taste so it wouldn't be fair to ask his mom to change her cooking which is very cultural. He thinks I'm being racist by not liking their food. I don't think I am - I've TRIED it, I LIKE foods from his culture, I hate that flavor profile in dishes from other cultures too, and I really have spent 4 years without a hint to his mom that I don't like this flavor profile. We are at an impasse. Looking for any help with our situation, whether it's to tell me that I am in the wrong or if there's a compromise we haven't tried to make this trip more palatable (pun intended).
tldr - I don't like MIL's cooking, she doesn't know, out of compromises with my husband. Now what?
Submitted April 03, 2021 at 07:04PM by Good_Challenge_6564 https://ift.tt/31Ka7iN
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