Girlfriend [30F] stopped showing me [32M] love and affection after I moved in with her. Can’t seem to figure out how to fix it

We’ve been together 5 years. I finished school and actually immigrated to the United States to be with her. I’ve been living with her for about 6 months now. Over these past 6 months, the frequency of sex has decreased from 1-2 times a week to once every 3-4 weeks. I am always the one to initiate and even when we do have sex she doesn’t seem into it (at least initially, after foreplay she does get into it).

I would actually be completely fine with this frequency, but on top of this issue her displays of affection towards me in general (I love you’s, kisses, hugs, hand holding, cuddling) have also stopped almost completely. I’d say I get one of these things maybe once a week at best.

We are both professionals and do work long hours but we usually see each other if only briefly each day and we get 2 or 3 days off together maybe twice a month. The issue does not improve during that time.

I asked for advice on this sub I think maybe a week ago and the general consensus was to have a non-judgmental talk with her about it (“I wish we were more affectionate” instead of “you never show me any affection”). I tried that and it did not go well. She shut down completely and refused to discuss the issue and then I awkwardly left and went to bed.

The weird thing is that despite all this we are getting along well. I don’t feel there’s any gap in our connection, just needs of mine that aren’t being met.

Initially I tried being more romantic and doing kind gestures for her here and there, surprising her with dates etc. but it didn’t work. Then I tried pulling back, keeping busy and productive at work and my hobbies, hitting the gym daily, thinking that maybe I was being too clingy or something like that but so far this hasn’t really worked for me either (I’d say I’ve been doing this consistently for about a month)

I just want my girlfriend back. I’m starting to feel like her roommate and not her partner/lover and IDK what to do. I have anxiety every day now about this though I don’t show it.

TL;DR Moved in with girlfriend, she stopped showing me love and affection and we stopped having sex. Not sure how to fix it.

Submitted April 08, 2021 at 10:14AM by Any-Cryptographer749 https://ift.tt/3d01Eys