Hello strangers This is an old story that already had an outcome and all parties involved has moved on. I just look back sometimes and wonder whether I did the right thing or I overreacted. Will appreciate your honest judgment.
Years ago I was in a serious relationship that was supposed to be forever, the relationship was great except that I always knew she still had feelings for her ex, I never thought of the topic as a big deal simply because I never viewed her ex as a threat, especially considering the fact that he lived in a different continent. One day we were watching The Notebook 2004 and it was her first time seeing it (An emotional movie about a girl who chose her ex over her current partner) and she was crying nonestop, when I asked her what's wrong she said it reminded her of her ex. Now of course that was very unpleasant feeling for me, but I let it go simply because everything else in the relationship was going well, we spent all our free time together and laughed,cuddled, had sex and travelled together as our relationship was overall very healthy.
Until one month she started to get colder, eventually by the end of that month one Sunday morning while hugging she casually suggested if we change our Facebook profile pictures to individual pictures rather than couple pictures. I was confused & alerted and started to see a bigger picture. After pressuring her whole day to share what's happening and why she's getting colder she finally said at night "I want to admit something to you, I sent a letter to my ex, I haven't received a reply yet". I was so shocked hearing this that I didn't even investigated the content of that letter(which I assume was the normal thing to do), sending the letter seemed to me(at least in that time) like an action that crossed all red lines regardless of the content, I went into a mini rage then I was silent and just said goodnight as I needed time to process everything that's happening.
Apparently she thought my goodnight is a sign of forgiving because after a sleepless night I finally left bed to a letter where she thanked me for being a good forgiving partner and she promised to be better. I went to work and first thing I did after arriving work was vomiting, I couldn't even eat anything that day, by the end of the day I reached a conclusion that despite how much I loved her but I can't love her anymore. I also have my own insecurities, one of them being that I always been afraid of being dumped, I never was dumped before and always thought it would be something very difficult for me to move on from. And after that letter to her ex I felt if my relationship with her continued then my chances of being left/dumped are high.
The next day I informed her that we should break-up. Her reaction was mixed, she was crying the whole time but also she didn't try to change my mind, she immidiately agreed and called it mutual decision, though she mentioned during crying "If my ex didn't reply then I have lost both of you and that would be worst thing in my life". After that we cut contact but based on what I heard about her from a mutual friend that her ex didn't retun to her, she spent one year of feeling regretful for the letter but also angry towards me for immidiately ending things (according to the mutual friend), but in the second year she was engaged to a very good man.
TL;DR : I(M- 25) broke up with girlfriend (F- 24) because she sent a letter to her ex.
Submitted February 09, 2021 at 06:47PM by Educational_Chef2749 https://ift.tt/3tJzcao
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