I need to know if I'm overreacting about my boyfriend not wanting to get married

TL;DR my boyfriend of 12 Years doesn't want to get married because he's afraid I'll sue him for alimony

 I (34F) and my boyfriend (34M) have been together for almost 12 years, and just had our first child at the beginning of the year. While I was pregnant I mentioned how I wanted me and my child to have the same last name whether it was my last name or his. He agreed that we should get married so I agreed to give the baby his last name. We picked out the baby's whole name, which included his last name, and informed all of our friends and family of what the child's name would be. He is an only child while I'm the youngest of five, so his parents were especially excited about the baby having his last name. Obviously I got pregnant while Covid was getting bad and that was used as one excuse as to why we couldn't get married. He even said that going to just fill out paperwork at the courthouse was too risky in my condition and talk about marriage just kind of faded away. Now it's been over a month since our child has been born and the subject got brought up again when I mentioned getting a life insurance policy. I wanted to put the policy with our child is the beneficiary but my boyfriend started arguing that he should be the main beneficiary. He says the reason is because if something happens to me and they need the money to survive for a couple years that it would be easier if it was in his name instead of our child's. He also stated that he wanted me to sign medical Power of Attorney papers so that if anything happens to me he would be able to make end-of-life decisions for me. I stated how all of that paperwork would already be unnecessary if we would have gotten married like we were talking about while I was pregnant. I also mention how I was upset that me and the baby had different last names when that was all I really wanted. He told me that if I wanted to have the same last name as the baby I could just go downtown and do the paperwork to get my name changed to his at the courthouse. Again I asked why doesn't he just want to get married when we already agreed that we would, and he told me he doesn't want to get married because if we break up he doesn't want to have to pay me alimony. I told him I wouldn't have to sue him for alimony cuz even if we break up right now I can sue him for child support. The conversation ended right there because it started getting too heated and neither one of us want to have the type of relationship where we argue in front of our kid , even if he is only one month old. The problem now is that I'm seriously considering just ending this relationship. I have to close friends I've discussed this with and one has told me that I'm overreacting and that him not wanting to marry me is not that big of a deal since we've already been together for twelve years. My other friend is telling me that the only reason he would be worried about me suing him for alimony is if he doesn't think that our relationship is going to last. I should also mention that neither one of us has any major assets and we both work full-time and earn close to the same amount so it's not an issue of me trying to be a gold digger. It's been 3 days and my feelings are just really hurt. I'll be fine going through the day taking care of the baby and then I don't know why I'll think about this and just start crying. I just feel like I play the wife role good enough that he even wants me to go down and change my last name to his, but I'm not good enough to be his actual wife. I just seriously don't know what to do I need some outside advice. 

Submitted February 10, 2021 at 06:34PM by Jennababy_1094 https://ift.tt/3qaffHJ