How can I [16/F] handle my mother [50/F] asking a lot of questions about my father's [44/M] new wife [42/F]?

Okay so background is this. My mom is a surgeon and my dad is a physician. they have busy careers. My mom confessed that she didn't want to divorce my dad and thought asking him for a divorce would force him to move with her when none of my siblings wanted to move. Basically my mom wanted to go and study a special surgical technique for 6 months and then go do this traveling surgical program. My father said no and offered her to go and study and then visit but a travelling surgical thing was out of the question. I guess he said he felt like she never made time for the family and this was another huge issue. My mom threatened him with a divorce and he took it. My mom left, did her program and took a job on the opposite coast. We speak to her as often as we can, maybe 3-4 times a month. She's a workaholic and so we live with my dad. My mom does pay a bit in child support.

Living with my dad is great. He works full time but splits his time between an emergency room and a private practice, so he's home for dinner most nights. My parents split up when I was 10 and 3 years ago, my dad started dating a Russian biologist. She moved in before they got married and it was awkward at first, but she's very tolerant of my brothers and gets along well with them. I didn't like her at all but she's pretty nice and I like spending time with her. She's great with math homework, so I went from like a C- to A+. She's also good to talk to and is a good go between with my dad.

My mom came to their wedding but told me she HATES Natalya. She kind of interrogates me on the phone. She asks if I can hear them having sex, asked me to snoop to find condoms or ask if they are having kids. My mom wants a full report on what Natalya does, but she doesn't do anything weird. My younger brothers like her a lot and call her mama. My mom hasn't visited us since 2019 and instead went to a surgical conference in Canada instead of visiting. Natalya does a lot of the "mom" stuff now, like meeting our teachers and taking my brother to events. I don't know what my mom wants to hear but she never seems content about it. She's been asking weird questions a lot and I'm just over it.

I love my mom but it's creepy. I once told my dad and he exploded on my mother on the phone and so my mom didn't call for like 3 months after that. How can I get her to stop thinking about his new wife and just move on?

​

tl;dr my dad remarried a Russian lady and my mom interrogates me about what they do and what she's like. I want to get my mom to stop thinking about her and my dad so that we can have a normal relationship without having to answer questions about my stepmom's daily activities.

Submitted February 09, 2021 at 11:41AM by oumamalai3 https://ift.tt/3a8xV4I