Brother in law (40M) said something that made me very uncomfortable and husband (34M) still wanted us to go on a trip together

Some background: I (33F) always knew my brother in law, Mark, is very conservative when it comes to politics, and we have very different views. I’m half Chinese and grew up in a very liberal household and my little brother is gay. I’ve heard Mark making fun of gay people and Chinese people before, they always made me uncomfortable but if I say something, he would just say “I’m just joking”. Since we don’t live in the same city, and don’t see each other often, I tend to just ignore them. Other than the occasional “jokes”, we do get along okay and have previously gone on trips together.

Mark recently got covid because he went to a party with his buddies and someone at the party had covid. He lost his sense of smell but other than that, his symptoms were mild.

Since he got covid, he’s been saying things that made me extremely uncomfortable. He calls my husband about once a week, and my husband likes to put him on speaker (he does that when family calls so I can hear and talk to them as well). I can hear all their conversations. Mark has been saying things like “I want to fly to China and kill them all because they spread covid”, or “I wish all Chinese people die”. Like I mentioned, I’m half Chinese and still have extended families in China. Even without the emotional connection that I have, I would be extremely uncomfortable if he has said something like this about any other race/nationality too.

We have a trip planned with Mark to go spend a week in a cabin that my family own in July. My brother may be joining us too. But now I really don’t want Mark to go because honestly I’m a little terrified. My husband’s attitude has been “Mark is just joking and I agree his jokes have gone too far”. But my husband is the type that avoids confrontation at all cost so he rarely speaks up when he hears Mark’s “jokes”. He thinks that Mark is just upset because he got covid and he doesn’t mean anything he said.

TLDR: brother in law said things like “I want to kill all Chinese people” and I’m half Chinese. I don’t want to go on a trip with him in July because I don’t think I’ll feel comfortable around him

Submitted February 12, 2021 at 06:09PM by throwawayufhsy https://ift.tt/378dbbK