How do I [22F] politely inform my acquaintance [early 20s M] that just because we speak does not mean he's entitled to dating me?

I'm in a very weird and kind of vulnerable position. I married my husband [28M] at 20 after 9 months of dating. We were madly in love, we always did our best for each other, and we were planning to try for a baby (we'd been married for a year and a half at this point). Then one morning he told me he loved me, kissed me goodbye, and died instantly in a car accident about 30 minutes later.

Obviously, I was and am devastated. I didn't really expect to be a widow at 21.

I've had several men come out in the last few months trying to date me or hook up, and most couldn't be bothered to pretend to actually care that I was still heavily grieving. This made it very easy for me to say "No, I don't want that and I never will with you."

This guy... It's almost insidious. I knew him before I met my husband as a teenager, and we did chat, but it was extremely shallow and I never let him in. I remember that. But when he messaged me to check on me he acted as if we were extremely good friends who had known everything about each other. That I'd just stopped messaging but the universe pushed us back together.

For whatever reason I let him in and he's been kind, but I couldn't ignore the weird red flag there. I told myself maybe it had just meant more to him than it did to me and that's why we viewed it so differently. But now he tells me he feels a connection and pushes sexual stuff front and center, doesn't hesitate to aggressively flirt in the same manner the first guys did. I'll mention a sweet thing my husband and I did together and he'll say "maybe that can be our thing now!" and tbh it kind of makes me want to explode with rage? It's like he drops these weird love-filled statements out of nowhere when he still doesn't actually know me as a person.

I want to move on at some point in the nearish future because I'm young and I know my late husband would 100% want that for me. However I don't want to be dragged into this "relationship" that no one ever asked me for. I've been so calm and level headed, but every time I mention setting up something for online dating within a couple of months he acts like we're together and it would be inappropriate. I've told him I'm uncomfortable and I always back away from relationship talk with him because I am not interested, but it's not enough.

My husband was constantly pushing me to assert myself and not let anyone make me uncomfortable, and I do that a lot better now, but I feel so trapped in this? I genuinely don't know where to begin.

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tl;dr: Guy came around after my husband's death to "comfort" me/lied about our previous friendship and is now acting like we're together. I express disinterest and that I'm uncomfortable but he continues to push boundaries.

EDIT Thanks for the advice, I think this is easier than replying to everyone but I appreciate it a whole lot. I will probably just end up blocking him entirely. I was concerned about him turning aggressive and possibly hurting me, but I think I will be okay. I know I should've called it a while ago, I've been existing in a weird brain fog for a bit.

Submitted September 22, 2020 at 06:11PM by SuitableGood https://ift.tt/3kJL3jx