Fiance (28F) dragging his feet on wedding planning but wants a child right now. Should I (21F) just break up with him?

Question: Is this a serious red flag? Should I just break up with him?

TL;DR! My boyfriend is dragging his feet on planning our wedding but wants me to have his baby right now

I’m in a really hard situation. I' (F21) have been with my boyfriend (M28) for 3 years. He proposed at New Year’s, and I happily accepted. Since then, though, he hasn’t done much to get this wedding started. He hasn’t given me a ring, won’t go with me to look at wedding venues. “Yeah, I don’t have time for that right now.” We announced the engagement to our families, and he calls me his fiancee. So far, that’s it.

BF has an older cousin whose “fiancee” just had their 2nd son. They have a 5 year old and a newborn, and Cousin hasn’t put a ring on her either. She and her kids still live with her parents, and Cousin lives with his mother. My BF is always over there with his cousin and the boys.So now BF wants a child with me, right now. But I want to be a wife, then a mother after a few years. I want the rings, the white dress, the church wedding, the little house, and then one or two kids after about 5 years. But BF wants a baby NOW, as in start trying preferably tonight, but I won’t do that. I finished college last year and have an okay job, but I still live with my parents and won’t leave unless it’s to move in with my husband in our own home. I also want a better job with health insurance and maternity leave before I have a child.BF is upset that I won’t get pregnant right now, and says I’m disrespecting him and his mother because his parents never got married. His mom had him at 16, then married and divorced 2 husbands. She has 3 kids with 3 different men. I love her, but that’s not me.

I have nothing against people whose parents aren’t married, but it’s never been my life’s ambition to be a baby mama. It would be nice if we lived in a world where there was no stigma against being a child born out of wedlock, but we don’t, and I won’t have a child in a less than secure situation, and don’t want to socially handicap my child right from the first. I also think that BF only wants a kid because it’s a dick measuring thing with his cousin. My BF and I are fighting over this, so much that I’m thinking about ending the relationship. His family says we’d have such cute babies, and are all for it. My family doesn’t know because I don’t want them to think less of my BF.

Question: I'm really unhappy about this. Is it a red flag? Should I just break up with him?

TL;DR! My boyfriend is dragging his feet on planning our wedding but wants me to have his baby right now

Submitted July 02, 2020 at 04:43PM by MizWhatsit https://ift.tt/3eUGEHL