My [30M] girlfriend [29F] can't get beyond surface-level conversation with me, and I'm starting to feel alone.

I [30M] have been with my girlfriend [29F] for about 2.5 years, and lived together for one. For the most part, general aspects of the relationship are good.

One piece that I have been struggling with since the very beginning (if I'm honest with myself), is that the vast majority of our conversations feel surface-level, simple, and without much variety.

She often talks about work. If I ask her about the future, what kind of person she wants to become, passions or dreams she wants to learn or pursue, her only real answer relates to furthering her career. At the dinner table, I often end up intentionally steering conversation away from the subject of work.

But, it's difficult to know where to steer it to. She doesn't have many of her own interests, passions, or projects she's working on, or things she's actively trying to learn (outside of work related things). A lot of questions I'll ask end up with short answers. The interests she does have are all one's that she's picked up from me, almost like she's been a chameleon (and I have already encouraged her to find her own).

I can't tell if I just don't really know her - as if there is a well deep down I just need to tap somehow. Or, if I already know all there is, and... I'm growing sorrowful of wanting to know someone deeply but feeling like I've already learned all there is to know about this person a year and a half ago.

I yearn for a deeper connection. I try to share myself as best I can, about my feelings, my hobbies, etc. etc. But it's hard when I'm not often asked about them by her, or at least not in a way that leads me to feel she's genuinely curious about what makes me tick, or what moves me, or makes my heart sing, and why. I sort of feel alone. I know she loves me, and she's very affectionate. But... I can't help but feel like there should be a stronger connection, somehow.

I've talked to her about this a few times, and I think she's tried to open up a little. But it hasn't really changed.

Might there be something I'm missing, or something more I could be doing to try and open her up? (not just to share with me who she is on a deeper level, but, for her to make more efforts to know me on a deeper level too).

TLDR: Can't seem to break beneath the surface in conversation and connection with my partner, even though I'm trying. I'm beginning to feel alone in the relationship, longing for a deeper connection. Is there some way I can change either my outlook on this, or how I'm approaching the issue? Thanks!

Submitted April 06, 2020 at 05:50PM by away543throw123 https://ift.tt/3aSQwje