Hi Internet,
I know this is a long post... but Im here sitting in an Airbnb by myself and my heart is broken.... and my foot. If someone out there would just read this so I could feel seen. Tell me I'm not crazy Id greatly appreciate it.
I fell in love with someone I would have sworn two short years ago was my soulmate. We even got engaged about a year ago. Me and my beautiful son thought we found the man of our dreams.
I had a broken wrist when I met him and on our second date he came to my house and took out my garbage and came with meals prepared for my week. So sweet right ?
Slowly things started to change a year ago once I rented out my house and moved into his. The house was full of clutter, the garage was worse. It was in some disrepair but my parents always fixed up homes for a living so a little elbow grease didn't deter me. I even fixed up my house :) It was a big beautiful home in an affluent cul de sac with a lovely yard (this comes up later...)
But then it began, he started screaming at me and my son for small stuff. Escalating and escalating more... but then we would talk and make up and I felt he understood me.
At first he did so much- which has now evolved into me doing most of the housework (which is totally fine). But I wanted him to commit to do at least one thing around the house (take out the trash). Which he refuses to do at all.
Lately, he started to throw things "near me" not at me, once again. From his violent outbursts we now have two broken doors, 2 broken walls, a broken fan, and broken things in the garage.
Most of these fights stemmed around me just "asking" about starting a house project. Like painting a room (which I would fully be prepared to do by myself).
He would never take accountability for anything he's done. I would try to explain (kindly) hey I don't like this behavior, but he would just yell over me, constantly interrupting, his replies would only be self defensive. Amazing communication turned into constantly being screamed at.
We just had a big fight two days ago where he said awful things to me... things hes never said before.
So the yard... he keeps bringing home wood and dumping it all over the yard (looks straight up white trash now) and the garage is still filled with clutter.
Today I had enough … he was in a mood. My son asked for his scooter which was in the garage. In stead of asking him to find it. I risked going out there and getting it myself.
He saw me trying to exit the garage scouter in hand (you have to climb over mountains of piles of junk on the floor about waist high - there is no walking). I got a bit distracted with the yelling and climbing, and scouter. I feel out of the garage onto a pile of logs. This was incredibly painful. He came over and yelled at me about how its my fault for falling onto logs that were there for over a year. My son came because he heard me scream and was watching. I desperately wanted him just to ask if I was ok. I was just told further how this was my fault for not asking for him to do. It wasn't my best moment and I said if we could walk in the garage and yard chances are I would not have of fallen. A lot of areas in the yard have to be climbed on to.
I tried to get up and walk away (I didn't want to be yelled at more). I fell immediately back down on my logs. I didn't realize I couldnt use my broken foot. He said something in an awful tone to me.. I don't remember because of the pain.
I tried to walk it off but noticed it was getting worse. I took my son to the street to play.. after about 10-15 minute. I knew the pain was too much. I told my son to pack up I had to go to the emergency room. When I was confronted about where I was going I explained my foot was broken I was driving my son to his dads and going to the emergency room. He tried to convince me my foot wasn't broken only sprained. I didn't say anything confrontational but continued to get ready. Eventually he saw I was leaving but insisted he had to drive us.
He dropped me off and went home. From the emergency room I got texts from him "this is the thanks I get" "you've endangered our lives because you could ask for the scouter". The doctors did confirm my foot was broken and Id need a cast.
The drive home he was mean. I just tried to block him out. My goal was just to get home so I could grab a few things and leave. After a few minutes I packed a small bag and walked to the door. HE asked me where I was going ….I lied and left.
So here I am in an Airbnb by myself and crying yet I cant shake this feeling I deserve better. I feel like a fool because I told everyone how amazing he is. Now all I have is an empty saving account, a broken foot. I haven't told anyone yet and Im so embarrassed all the dreams I had are gone.
Tl;dr: Give hope to someone leaving an abusive relationship. Because this shit is hard
Submitted April 05, 2020 at 04:33PM by CompetitiveLove4 https://ift.tt/2Re7VeB
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