I am not sure how to post this. I apologize in advance for the length.
He and I moved in together at the beginning of the year. We have been dating for 2 years now. Recently, we have been stuck at home for obvious reasons.
Basically, the background to this is he and I met in high school and became friends in our sophomore year. However, in our junior and senior years we decreased how much we talked. In college, he and I would occasionally message each other, but wouldn't really talk or hang out. Then about a 2.5 years ago, he and I met at a party. We reconnected and soon started dating.
Today, I wanted to learn some programming. So I used his his high-end desktop, which he lets me do. Anyways, in the process of setting up a particular program, I noticed a folder titled "New Folder". I opened it curiously.
What I found were dozens of Word documents that were basically diary entries dating back to high school in which he describes his romantic feelings towards me. I know I shouldn't have looked, but I can't take back what I saw. Basically, he describes a lot of his feelings for me.
A lot of the entries are very passionate and intense to the point that if he had told me all of this earlier in person, I would have been very creeped out. A lot of the earlier entries sounded like those creepy love declarations from obsessed teenagers that someone might see in movies.
In one document, he talks about a "master plan" to win me over and make me his girlfriend (which I guess worked out). I will bullet point some highlights.
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The first entry from this document was nearly 10 years ago. He talks about dressing better, eating better, exercising, etc.
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One particular thing that was disturbing is that he was sort of stalking me. Early on in junior year of high school, he set the goal of trying to go to the same college as I did. Basically, that didn't end up working out because he got better financial aid elsewhere.
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The next few entries talk about specific things in college that he needed to do to "earn more money" so that I would be impressed with his "financial stability."
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Another entry from 3 years ago describes his efforts at finding a job in the same city I am in, which is a different city from our hometown. His plan was to make it seem as if it was a coincidence that he and I had moved to the same city for a job, when in reality, he purposely tried to do it to get close to me.
The most disturbing part of this folder was that there appears a few dozens photos of me, almost all of them from my social media. 2 of them appear to be creep shots of my ass when I was 15, taken without my knowledge. The metadata looks like they haven't been accessed since almost 7 years.
The latest diary entries seem to be more about our relationship. They show a much more mature and reasonable side to him. There is one file literally titled "How to not be a jealous controlling asshole" in which he notes his feelings of jealously with me talking to an ex and the boundaries we had discussed. During our conversation, I remember that he appeared to be slightly agitated, but there were no red flags. On the contrary, if anything, he was very reasonable about boundaries.
However, all of this doesn't excuse the creepy behavior with the pictures and the job thing he did in high school. I am feeling a bit surprised and shock. This relationship has been the most healthiest relationship I have been in. Before I discovered this, I could easily see myself marrying him.
I need advice on how to raise this with him.
TL;DR Discovered some diary entries from boyfriend going back to high school. Discovered he had a crush on me. Also discovered some creepy behavior such as taking pictures of my ass he did in high school and making a "master plan" to make me his girlfriend. Need advice on how to talk to him about this and how it affects our otherwise very healthy relationship.
Submitted April 04, 2020 at 04:39PM by Human-Quality https://ift.tt/2yAgkm9
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