People Involved:
C - My husband, 28 years old, we've been married for a little over a year
M - Mother-in-law
A little background stuff before I get to what is going on.C and I have been married for a little over a year now. We met on a roleplaying site, became friends and neither of us wanted a relationship because of how badly we had been burned in the past, so it took us a while before we actually dated and whatnot, due to not wanting to get hurt again. Eventually I moved to his state where he was, leaving all of my family and everything I had ever known behind, to live with him for a couple of years before we finally 'tied the knot'.
Now...
I would say about, 5-6 months ago, I noticed C starting to act sketchy. Hiding his phone, turning his computer screens so that they were faced away from me, laying in bed in a way that made sure I would not be able to see his phone screen. So, having been burned far too many times in the past, I checked his computer, which has his search history for his computer and his cellphone.
I quickly noticed that he almost solely only looks up hentai and porn on his phone, as well as hentai on his computer; almost an obsessive amount, given the time stamps on his search histories. On his phone even, it was only times when I was asleep, or gone at work as, for a while, I was the only one working because of medical issues he was having.
Now, I know some might end up thinking, "Porn is normal, nothing to judge him for there!" However, at this point, C had stopped having sex with me, or touching me in any sexual manner, for literal months. Mind you, we used to engage in sexual activities with one another multiple times a week. I would not care at all if he was looking at porn while still having sex with me as usual, it is the fact that he stopped touching me and was almost constantly looking at porn and hentai that upset me.
At this time on snooping around, I also checked his discord and his roleplaying accounts and found out he was doing sexually explicit roleplays with people, as well as flirting with girls and talking sexually with them on discord. Going back through his logs on discord, this had been going on basically our entire relationship.
Going in to the sexually explicit roleplaying part real quick, I had told him at the beginning of our relationship that I am not comfortable with him doing sexually explicit roleplays when he's with me, as I don't do them either, though romance roleplays were fine. He agreed to this and made it seem like he felt the same way.
I took pictures of everything with my phone. The search history, the conversations he was having with women, and the roleplays he was taking place in.
It is at this point that I started catfishing him.
I made a character on the roleplaying site that I knew he looked up porn of a lot, and began to speak to him. He began to flirt with me right away, as well as me finding out that he had two roleplay accounts I did not know about, one being a slave woman, and one being a shota boy. These roleplay accounts included their own discords as well, where he was constantly flirting with people, men and women, in sexually explicit ways.
As I talked to C on my catfishing discord I made, he started lying to me about things right away. Things that I did, he took credit for. Things that he never did, he would say he did to make himself look like a good, sweet person. He also lied and said that he lived alone, and to make sure that he could not gaslight me into believing he was messing around, I asked him if he left alone, pretending that I thought that was really cool because I 'had a roommate' and wished I lived alone, to which he specifically said he did. Never once did he mention not being single or anything of the like.
I took screen shots and held on to this information and acted normal, all while texting M as a crying mess, trying to find out that, if I left C, if she would let me stay at her house until I could get back to my family, as I had absolutely no one besides her. She agreed and told me that I needed confront him about it, but I chose to catfish him for a few more days, just to make sure that he had no way of being able to lie and try to gaslight me, as he would do when I questioned things and did not have physical proof to show.
By the time I confronted C about it, I could barely get my words out, sobbing and asking him what I ever did to deserve this, and why he didn't care about my feelings. During the hour or so long thing of me running around our place, screaming and crying and questioning him, C continued to tell me to hit him, as well as trying to say that, basically, he felt I wasn't on his side and whatnot because I had continued to talk to friends of mine that C did not like.
In regards to the friends situation, some of them never truly got along with C, but other ones he got mad at them because they were defending me when he would do things, even though the ones that liked him were his friends too. He was also doing sexually explicit roleplay with one of them and hiding it from when, because said friend did not know that I was uncomfortable with it, and he never told her otherwise. C had told me that I was 'choosing them over him' and got upset when I stated I didn't want to ghost them, because I have been in abusive relationships before where my exes forced me to isolate myself. To which C said it was different, because we were married, not dating.
Continuing on...
Once I confronted C, he stated that it was never going to happen again because seeing me so upset hurt him. I told him that if he ever did any sexually explicit roleplays with anyone else ever again, I would consider it cheating, to which he agreed. I believed him, and we seemed to go on just fine.
Fast forward to this past month.
C had been acting sketchy again, not as badly as last time, but still noticeable on my end. I caught him having some woman's selfie on his phone, asked him about it, and was told he must have 'saved it on accident' and deleted it to where I could see that he had. I obviously didn't believe this, but I let it go for the time being.
Today I decided to look at C's computer once again while he is away at work.
Looking through the currently open tabs, and the history on his computer, it had porn and hentai here and there. As for his mobile search history however, almost absolutely nothing BUT porn and hentai. On top of this, some of the hentai he had pulled up involved shota and characters that are, quite literally, children. There was no actual physical porn with real life children, but drawn children characters within the hentai he was looking up at times.
I also found that he has gone back to being flirty and doing sexually explicit roleplays with women again.
I have confronted C about it on discord while he is at work, because I could not handle holding it in until he arrived home later tonight. To which, C stated that he has been 'slipping' lately because he is depressed, and gets drawn into it when he is depressed. C then stated he would talk about it more when he gets home, because he cannot really talk about it while at work.
He doesn't get home for a few more hours, and I am unsure of how to handle this besides what I had already told him, of not allowing him to sleep in the same bed as me until he gets legitimate help.
TLDR; My husband almost never wants to touch me in any sexual way, yet he is looking at porn all the time, including hentai with children drawn in it, and cheating on me.
Submitted November 06, 2019 at 03:32PM by RevoltExistence https://ift.tt/2Nq6bxu
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