**TL;DR;** : My boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me so he could commit to a scientific career, but he appears to still love me We met when I was 19 at university, and we pretty quickly entered a pretty serious relationship. He was my first ever boyfriend and the first guy I had proper sex with. (He's had a few past relationships). I was a bit of a mess at the time and he helped me turn my life around. Really he was the first person to ever really care about me and be good to me. In the past four years we've had a super rocky relationship - we moved to a foreign country together and lived there together, had some huge fights, came back to the UK and have been long distance since then. (He's doing a PhD).
It's been two years of long distance already, and I was under the impression we'd try to be together when his PhD was over. Recently we had a fight because he kept going back and forth about what he was going to do after his PhD, whether or not he'd try to be near me or not. I finally snapped and pushed him to make a decision, because I didnt want to sit and wait around for him with no impetus. And he broke it off.
He says that in order to pursue a real career in science you have to move around (all over the world) and be willing to uproot at any time to not miss an opportunity.
We have other problems in our relationship, we're very very different in terms of our personality. They factor into the breakup, but many of those things were changing and getting better. We're absolutely best friends and still in love. (Hes told me he still loves me since).
I'm absolutely immobilized by grief and I cannot picture my life without him. We had a weird relationship in many ways but I think he was the best thing that ever happened to me.
We've been trying not to speak since this all happened 3 weeks ago, but we have spoken on the phone a couple of times, which ended up with me crying and him not taking it back.
He came to visit me so we could break it off properly, but he acted like everything was completely fine, we said I love you multiple times, had sex, spoke about thinking things over with time apart. After he left he went back to saying that the long distance is too hard and we should split up.
We're even going away together for NYE. We booked it after the breakup. We're going to a small isolated cottage together, and he claims it will be so we can see how eachother is doing and be friends.
I don't know how to think or feel. This is my first ever relationship and I just miss him more than anything. It's so hard to accept that this is the end after all we've been through. Surely we shouldn't break up if we're still in love?
Does he love me? Should I spend the next 6 weeks giving him space and come to the cottage to see what happens? Can anyone give me some fresh perspective on the relationship? Is there anything anyone can say to quell the heartbreak?
Submitted November 13, 2019 at 01:06AM by HelloHotCoffee https://ift.tt/2qdHZoW
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