I'm posting this because I honestly couldn't find any posts from my POV. Every search was "I HATE THAT MY BOYFRIEND LIKES PORN!!!!!!" And none from the opposite perspective..
My best friend and boyfriend HATES porn. I was diagnosed bi-polar in late 2016, and have had hypersexual tendencies since 2011, watching and drawing porn ever since. I began dating my best friend of 5 years 6 months ago and found out a few months into our relationship that he absolutely DOES NOT LIKE porn and even goes so far to call watching it cheating. In all of my previous relationships I was able to watch it whenever and draw it as much as I wanted without question. Now that I've quit cold Turkey and been porn free for 5 months I honestly feel sexually repressed... my libido has suffered and I'm unsure what to do.
Our physical sex life is phenomenal and I absolutely would not change a thing about it. He gets me going like nobody ever has. I am completely physically satisfied, and I've let him know this. But it just confuses him as to why I still feel the urge to watch porn.
He allows me to draw it (but I honestly don't even feel as if I cant even do that because If I look at references they're usually real life stills and he becomes really reserved, cold, and condescending if he sees me looking at them.) I've tried everything to convince him watching it isn't a big deal and has nothing to do with him since I've been watching it longer than I've even known him and it's just a part of who I am.
I love him more than I've loved anyone else in my life. But I hate the fact that he's so insecure and won't allow me to watch it.....
I'm on medication to help with my bipolar episodes but they dont curb the cravings at all. I want to know why I like it so much and why I still have cravings to watch it even though I haven't watched it in 5 months, and how can I explain to him that I just like it and me liking it has absolutely nothing to do with him not satisfying me.
Does anyone have any insight? Am I just a sleazy asshole?
TL;DR I'm hypersexual girl who likes porn, my boyfriend hates it. Our sex life is great, but I feel repressed due to his insecurities. Please help
UPDATE: We had a long talk as soon as I got home from work and we have decided we will be going to therapy as soon as an appointment is available. He has also agreed to take baby steps with me and I've agreed to be patient with him. I didn't mention it before, but I was his first, well, everything. He grew up in a very shuttered very sex negative family where as I grew up in the exact opposite. I love him more than anything and I'm willing to go at his pace as long as he's willing to actually work with me. Thank you so much to everyone who commented and gave support ❤❤❤
Submitted September 03, 2019 at 07:01PM by UnfinishedFuckery https://ift.tt/2zQd7wg
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