So my best friend Jake (not his real name) is a very cool guy, but over the past two years his personal hygiene has gotten worse and worse.
He smells very strongly, and it's a very unpleasant smell, like musty old sewer water mixed with a heaping of sweat. His nails are always black, and his hair is very limp and long because he never gets it cut. I've tried hinting through strategic gifts like nice shower sets and cologne that he needs to brush up on his hygiene but the message apparently didn't get through.
The problem is, Jake is extremely sensitive to criticism. A mutual friend (Oliver) and me have tried a few different ways to try and help him, but they've all either been ignored or rejected. Just under a year ago, when Jake's hygiene went from "kinda gross" to "very gross" we wondered if he might be struggling with depression. Other than his poor hygiene he doesn't seem depressed but I know it's different for everyone, so we took him aside one day and gently asked about his mental health and how he's feeling. He seemed confused that we were even asking and said everything was fine. Oliver then brought up the B.O issue. To Oliver's credit, he was very non-judgmental and caring in how he asked, and made it clear neither of us thought less of Jake, we just want to help. But Jake got very angry, stormed off, and didn't speak to either of us for a month. After he re-contacted us he didn't mention it, and we didn't either, which in retrospect was probably stupid of us.
Now it's almost a year on and Jake's hygiene has only gotten worse. His teeth usually have a thick yellow film coated on them when I see him, he has blackheads all over his nose, and the smell is stronger than ever. He's just started job-hunting, and he doesn't understand why he's not getting any callbacks after interviews. I feel like I need to tell him, for his own sake as well as the sake of my nose, but I don't know how to get through to him. I want to do this in a way that allows him to save as much face as possible but that he can't ignore or reject the way he has in the past. What would you suggest?
TL;DR: My best friend's personal hygiene is terrible. Me and a friend have already told him, but he got very offended and didn't take our advice. I want to try telling him again.
Submitted September 25, 2019 at 12:16PM by smellythrowaway0925 https://ift.tt/2mFPCmc
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