Is "that's not fair" a valid argument in a relationship? Or am I [25F] being a brat and being "mean" to my boyfriend [24M] for no reason?

So I'll jump right in and say money is tight. He has an apartment, but since March I've been paying 30-50% of his rent/bills because the building he works in is shutting down and his hours have been cut until it's sold and they can "move him somewhere else" (I personally think he's getting laid off when that happens but you never know). He's looking for another job, but because he's only been at his current one for just under a year his staffing company is really discouraging him from leaving. Plus the few interviews he has gone on have all been way out of his league.

I currently live with my mother who is normally immobile due to back problems and is suffering from liver failure. She's found a caretaker to come in August but until then I'm pinching every penny because I am so stretched for bills between the two places.

On top of that his car broke down about a week ago. I drove him to work while it was in the shop. He picked it up Monday afternoon and they pretty much did nothing to fix the problem. So he called today and they said they fixed what they could find wrong, if it's still having problems it's likely engine failure, but they're happy to do free full diagnostics on it because they know that kind of news can be devastating especially when the cars on it's last legs to begin with.

Yesterday he left work an hour early and promised me he'd stay until 5 today to make it up "and then some". When he called me this morning and told me he showed up late I thought he said "so I'm working 9-5" and I immediately got upset and cried a bit because I was hurt by him "lying" (he says overtime isn't available then swears next time it won't be a problem) about making up hours because this happens kind of a lot. He asked what was wrong so I went into this long confession about how I don't think it's fair that I can't just leave my job early even though I hate it or "I'm not feeling good" because we're broke. Or when I want to get fast food because eating nothing but the bulk box of hot pockets my mom bought my is making me violently ill at work but then I correct myself and say I'll just go hungry and go to the grocery store tomorrow he says that's a "good idea" but when he forgets to bring a container of the food I bought, cooked, put into containers, and left there for him it's "just $2 calm down".

Well he pretty much told me that he said 8-5 so he is making up that hour, but he also said I can't be "mean" to him because things aren't fair. That "missing an hour is only ~$12 after taxes" and "add two $1 menu items and I haven't even lost $15 yet" that I'm "not mad about the money" I'm "mad my job doesn't let me leave".

He's right, $15 isn't worth crying over and ruining his day with an argument, but I really don't like the sense of unfairness in our relationship. I've brought it up a lot over the last 3 years and he pretty much brushes me off saying that life isn't fair sometimes.

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TL;DR: There is a sense of unfairness in my relationship and I'm finally speaking out about it because the stress is killing me. Am I just wanting my way and being mad when I choose not to have it? Is being upset because something is "unfair" a valid emotion as an adult or do I need to grow up? Is $15 really worth crying over when money is paycheck to paycheck and you can't be sure if it's going to work out?

Submitted July 17, 2019 at 12:06PM by ccpremium https://ift.tt/2xPrgc1