I was set up with my girlfriend two months ago by her sister, who is a close friend of mine. We began dating officially about 5 weeks ago but I’ve begun to notice some red flags but I’m not sure what to do.
The first night after she moved back out here, so really the second night I had spent time with her, she asked me if she could tell me something. I was expecting a confession of love or something but she said, “It really bugged me how close you are to your friends. . . Like if you love them so much why don’t you go join their relationships?”
It was bizarre and I just kind of changed the subject. I had talked only a few times about how much they meant to me, and she had never spent time with me and them so I can’t imagine why she would be saying this. My friends are great people. They are friends with her family and they grew up near each other. It really bothered me. It would be like someone telling you that they were bothered that you were close to your family. I didn’t get it.
It came up again when she snapped at me once while I’m as telling her a story about how I brought almost all of my friends to my family’s house for my birthday dinner. All my favorite people in one place, and I wanted my family to know that side of my life. She snapped, “Why would you bring your friends home?”
I was weirded out by it. Extremely. I asked her why she had a problem with me bringing my friends home and she said that she just thinks some things should be done without friends involved. I explained how important 4 of my friends have been and how I consider them to be family. Again recounting how I am invited on their family vacations and invited to many family functions. It’s one of the only places I truly feel known and loved. She told me she just didn’t understand because her family was so close. It bothered me that this bothered her. I couldn’t think of a reason. Two weeks went by and I came up with excuse after excuse to tell my friends when they asked if I could bring her over so they could get to know her better.
She refused most of the time,and then I just stopped asking. All the while she is going off about how she wants me to fly home with her for the 4th of July to meet the rest of her family. I’m already close friends with two of her siblings and her brother in law.
Wednesday was a weird night. We have been telling each other “I love you” for about a week now. I held her as we said goodbye and I whispered “I love you.” She didn’t reciprocate and coldly asked, “Why?” I stammered out a few answers but she didn’t respond and we said goodbye. She didn’t send me a typical goodnight text, and didn’t respond to my morning text until about 3pm. She canceled on plans I had with her and some friends to go get dinner. She said she had things to do. I accepted she needed some space.
Friday she blew up at me for not telling her I had canceled dinner plans. I apologized and told her that I felt she needed a day and was confused by her bailing. She wasn’t happy with he explanation but we had planned on camping so we just hugged it out and I told her I was sorry.
Friday night we went camping. The trip was awesome. She seemed to have a lot of fun! She had her closest friends and a very close cousin there, I had a few of my closest friends that she knows pretty well and grew up with, and then there was a large group of people neither of us knew very well. We had a lot of fun and and the end of the day we went to bed and that was that.
Saturday we spent the morning together, then a little bit at my friends house for a big BBQ. That night we watched a movie at her sisters house on a kind of double date. It was fun and at the end of the night we were parting ways and I was kissing her goodnight when she told me that we needed to talk.
For the next 3 hours I sat and listened, hardly speaking, as she angrily told me that she doesn’t like it when we are with my friends. She told me she has no interest in being friends with them and that she knew right away because you can “just tell.”
I waited and listened until she finally asked me if I would say something. I told her that hearing this was hard for me. She has been snapping at me all week long having fights like this so early on in a relationship scares me.. and about what?? The people I have professed my most profound love for. She just told me she doesn’t like the.
She began to back pedal and tell me that she is willing to be friends with them, but i brought up how weird it was that she said so early on that she was bothered by my friendships.
I feel alone because this is a girl I actually am falling in love with and the people I would normally turn to for advice. . . Are effected. I can’t tell them that my gf does like them. That will throw a wrench in all of our relationships going forward. Thats a nasty fog to try and dispel later on.
I’m worried this kind of thing will manifest itself really negatively in the future and i don’t know how to deal with it. What do you guys think?
TL;DR My gf of 5 weeks is acting weird, picking fights, and from the very beginning told me she doesn’t like that I have close friendships. Just now she’s told me she has no interest in becoming friends with them
Submitted July 01, 2019 at 07:47PM by redflagwatchguy https://ift.tt/2KS4oBd
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