We've been married 5 years. He and his mom did not have a good relationship. In fact, during the time that I've known him he's often gone no-contact with her for months at a time. He has always maintained she's not a good person, she was cruel to him at times growing up, etc. But then he would go back to having a civil (but arm's length) relationship with her. She didn't really have much impact on our life....and I was always friendly with her when I'd see her.
She became sick last year, and we helped care for her for a few months until she passed. My husband got the opportunity to spend time with her and deal with old issues. We planned a wonderful celebration of life for her.
I know parent-child relationships and the death of a parent can be tangled in all kinds of complicated feelings. So I do understand it would be hard for him even if he didn't necessarily show it all the time. But he's been quite difficult to deal with during this past year. He's acted out in many ways that are simply not acceptable, but I've given him some leeway because I figure this is a very difficult year to get through (despite what he claims).
This weekend was the 1 year passing of his mom. He made unrealistic demands (ex: expecting me to leave work early to pick up a package for him that he wasn't even waiting on....that was just one example, there were several more), he was surly and told me I've "never been there for him" (nothing could be further from the truth). I asked him what he wanted for dinner, made it (and while I was cooking he got in a stupid argument with his brother), then refused to eat it because he was so upset from the argument. He insisted on mowing the lawn (which doesn't need to be done, and the lawn service is coming tomorrow anyway) with a glitchy lawn mower. We all know it barely works (which is partially why we got the lawn service to begin with). He then needs my help for a good hour trying to fix it (it never ends up working), and then he's even more upset and angry that "everything is a piece of shit".
And if I push back against his behavior, he'll snarl that "this is a hard time for me! Maybe be more sensitive!".
Part of me wants to remind him he never liked his mother in the first place and rarely saw her. But I don't do this of course.
How much leeway is reasonable in this circumstance? He's being a real jerk and it's exhausting.
TLDR: husband's mother passed away 1 year ago.....he's using the anniversary of her death as some type of an excuse to be mean as hell.
Submitted July 02, 2019 at 08:01AM by jumpship9 https://ift.tt/2NpBYAq
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