My [20F] fiance [24M] has been very insensitive about my niece's death. He is 'refusing' to let me go to her funeral.

Im not really in the best headspace right now so sorry if this doesnt make sense, Im also using my phone so sorry for any mistakes.

I have an older sister [shes 27] who is married and has been trying for 2 years to have a baby. Her and her husband have gone into thousands of dollars of debt and finally got pregnant with IVF and my sister was able to carry the pregnancy until 22 weeks when she had a placental abruption. The hospital she delivered at refused to do any life saving techniques for my niece. They did something called comfort care and my niece passed away a couple hours ago with her mom and dad holding her. She was super loved and even though I didn't get to meet her, I cried when my brother in law told me the news because I wanted to be there for them. My sister and I dont have parents, we were mostly raised in the foster care system. We've always had just each other and that's it

My fiance and I have been together for 2 years, engaged for a little over 6 months. We started living together when we got engaged. I was super excited to start planning my wedding because my sister would be my maid of honor and my niece would probably end up being the flower girl. I was so excited to be an aunt. My fiance is still on the fence of whether or not he wants kids but he never seemed to mind me talking about my sister and her pregnancy, if he did, he never told me. We have an imbalance in our relationship right now because I was let go from my job due to downsizing. I get unemployment but it's barely enough to cover my share of the bills. Some months I come up short and need his help covering stuff - in the past he had said some hurtful stuff but I also have to acknowledge is under stress with his job too so I try not to take it personally.

When my brother in law called me to tell me about my niece's passing , it broke my heart. I know he and my sister are devastated because they tried so hard for a baby. My brother in law asked me to come as soon as possible because my sister wants me there with her. I did some math, and still came up short for a plane ticket [they live a 16 hour drive away] and I hung my head in shame and asked my fiance if he could help me cover the rest and I would pay him back as soon as possible

He said no - which I would have understood if he just left it at that. But no, he got angry because I asked for help and started yelling. He said "Why should I give a fuck about a dead baby?" and "Maybe if your sister went to church more, God wouldn't have killed her baby" and ended it by yelling "FUCK YOU" at me and slamming our bedroom door so hard he knocked photos off the wall. He then came back out a few minutes later and got in my face and yelled at me, telling me I am not allowed to go to help my sister and he would "make sure it didn't happen".

I think this is justifiable reason to just leave him. This isn't the first time he's blown up on me before but this has been the worst time ever. I don't know what I did wrong - I really don't, I pay my share of the bills on time. I've even gone to a food bank before to make our groceries stretch much to his dismay [he thinks people will look down on us for using a food bank and has called me a "peasant" in a joking/non-joking way]. I don't feel entitled to his time or money, I just wanted some help to be there for my sister because I know if the roles were reversed, she would be there for me.

I just don't know what to do. I want to be there for my sister. I want my fiance to understand where I'm coming from. I feel sick like there's rock in the pit of my stomach over it. I could use any advice on the matter. Huge thanks in advance.

TL;DR: My sister lost her daughter at 22 weeks. She wants me to be there to help plan my niece's final arrangements. My fiance said some really hurtful things and is refusing to help/telling me I can't go to my niece's funeral. I'm just not sure what to do here.

Submitted July 02, 2019 at 02:54PM by ImPickyAbtUsernames https://ift.tt/2Ls4SgO