My boyfriend (21M) of two years and I (22F) are both in college. Well kind of. I graduate next week. Anyway, I’m currently attempting to move on to a masters program so I can eventually have a sick job and make bank. My boyfriend is so far away from graduation it’s scary.
In the semester we first started dating he failed I believe three classes. I assumed it was because our relationship was new and exciting and we had distracted each other. My grades had slipped too after all. The following semester he failed another class and was put on first level academic probation. His GPA at this point was probably about a 1.5.
The following semester he didn’t technically fail anything, but the majority of his classes were physical education and anything that wasn’t was a class that he’d already taken and failed, but got a C in this time around.
His past two semester including this one he has failed at least one class. His major is business, and he has failed intro to business twice now. It’s not as if he has a difficult time learning the subjects either. He’s just simply not doing the assignments. Every time he fails a class he tells me he didn’t do the assignments, tells me an excuse why he didn’t, and blames the professor for his grade.
I should also mention that this education is 100% free. His parents are paying his tuition, rent, groceries, car, etc. He even gets spending money. He doesn’t have to work at all but he’s still struggling. I know for a fact he has ADHD and depression and for a while he was being treated for both and he seemed like he was doing better. But now he won’t take the medication and refuses to hear anyone out about it.
I don’t know what to do. I have a full time job and am ready to rent a small house and possibly get engaged. I can easily see myself doing these things with him. He is the love of my life. An absolutely wonderful man. But I can’t trust him with any form of money at all.
Last week I gave him my card to pick up some tampons before work. He told me he was going to put gas in my car because I’m very low. I told him to wait until the next day when I got paid. He did it anyway. It was only five dollars, but I only had $40 in my account, and I specifically told him not to. We had a fight, he apologized. The next day I got paid and he still had my card as I hadn’t asked for it back yet. He told me he was going to put gas in, I said please only do $20 worth, as I hadn’t transferred my paycheck yet. He put $27 and overdrafted my account. Another apology. Both felt very “I’m only saying sorry to shut her up.”
I literally cannot trust him with my card. I feel like he has no respect for me or my hard earned money. I think he feels like just because I can ask my parents for money and they’ll give it to me, I should be more willing to spend my money. I hate asking my parents for money. Absolutely despise it. I would much rather be independent. I spent $200 on him on his birthday with my own money. He has yet to get me a present, though he continues to say he’s going to do it. My birthday was in December. His was the beginning of April. I constantly feel disrespected and as though I am mothering him.
Obviously I’ve only written about our issues here, but I can assure you his good outweighs the bad. I just don’t know how to deal with waiting for him to grow up. I’m extremely frustrated. I feel like he’s never gonna graduate, never gonna get a job, and just end up living off his inheritance. I’m at a loss for how to deal with this. How can I help him grow and learn? I want him to start getting medication for his depression, he already sees a therapist. How can I support him without condoning his irresponsible behavior?
Tl;dr my boyfriend is irresponsible but I wanna marry him anyway send help
Submitted May 02, 2019 at 05:47AM by issathrowawaybabay http://bit.ly/2IWMR9Y
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