My boyfriend (34M) and I (28F) have been together for 2 years and are in that pre-engagement phase. Talking about the wedding, but he hasn't popped the question. He's wonderful. I adore him. He's kind and gentle and in love with my kids, but we have very different... aesthetics? When it comes to combining our households, it's tricky. He LOVES collecting things. He loves pawn shops and garage sales and thrifting etc. Old fix-up furniture. A goddamn HALF PIPE in his backyard. An unused lay down freezer. A busted piano. A gym full of equipment he never uses. The man just loves "stuff".
I, on the other hand, live pretty simply. I love to decorate and design my space, and I really just don't have a ton of stuff. I love having things neat and tidy. I have two kids, and the three of us DEFINITELY have less combined than he does alone.
I've been living the apartment life for years, and he owns the house that we'll be living in. (It belonged to him and his first wife, but that's another ghost in the closet.) In talking about moving in to his house, I brought up how crammed it's going to be if we don't get rid of some things. I brought up a few specific items that he never uses and take up a lot of space. He gets really defensive, and I can tell it's a sore subject for him. I feel that I've compromised in that I'm moving in to his house (which I didn't really love the idea of, since he bought it with his ex), but I don't know how to explain to him that the home doesn't feel like OURS when it's already full to the brim with his stuff that we don't even need or use. I feel like I'm moving my things into the nooks and crannies and "extra space", rather than getting to start over together like we would in a new place. How do I go about making space for my little family without him feeling like I'm forcing him to get rid of his "treasures"?
Tldr; How do I turn my lovable packrat boyfriend's house into our home?
Submitted May 26, 2019 at 06:31AM by iamthewalrus4242 http://bit.ly/2VWgJW8
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