In over 5 years since I (F, 29) conceived my first child, We (M, 34) only had sex for 3 times. 2 of the 3 were mostly for reproductive propose and the other 1 wasn’t the most pleasant experience.

tl;dr: In over 5 years since I conceived my first child, We only had sex for 3 times. 2 of the 3 were mostly for reproductive propose and the other 1 wasn’t the most pleasant experience.

Throwaway account. wrote last night.

Me and my husband just watched the movie “On Chisel Beach”. He is currently sleeping next to me. I am filled with emotions and can’t stop crying. The movie is relevant but not necessary to understand my situation.

My soon to be 2 year old son is the result of last time I had sex with my husband. We tried conceiving for exactly 2 times and got pregnant immediately.

Our soon to be 5 year old daughter is also the result of one maybe two tries of conceiving. We are extremely fertile I know.

In between these 2 pregnancies, we had sex once. It was maybe 2 months after my daughter was born. I was very much worried about it might hurt.

These are planned pregnancies which means in over 5 years since I conceived my first child, We only had sex for three times. 2 of the 3 were mostly for reproductive propose and the other 1 wasn’t the most pleasant experience.

Some backgrounds..

We are together for 9 years and been married for 6 years. Growing up in a culture of women being submissive and passive when it comes to sex (Asian culture) isn’t completely helping in this case either. I had tried to initiate sex (Oh the huge amount of effort it took me to do that and then the disappointment and embarrassment after being turned down). I had also tried to talk about my feelings: I have needs and want to feel loved and touched. It makes me feel like I am not attractive anymore and pathetic and empty. The response had been “I’m too tired” “I just don’t have the urges” “you can try asking again” “my back hurts from carrying our baby too much”.

We both work full time. Our family has really tight schedules. We take care of the kids and do chores and there isn’t much time for anything after that and we are always lack of sleep and extremely tired. Yes when there are diapers and throw ups around all the time, I’m not very much in the mood either. Before kids we maybe had sex once every 2 months but hey it at least existed.

I understand our life is so preoccupied and there wasn’t really much romance opportunities when the baby woke up every 2 hrs m or when the kids have nightmares and want to sleep with you. The very little free time we have we’ll either exercise because we want to be healthy responsible adults (I suggested the exercise of love making and it was not well received) or feel too tired and want to read a book or watch a show.

My husband is the love of my life and my best friend. He loves hugs and kisses all the time (he will feel hurt if I don’t give him a goodbye hug and kiss when I leave for work) while I don’t mind and always enjoy a good hug but find a little too excessive. I mostly want to vent. I am not happy with the current situation and am looking into more approaches to heart to heart conversations.

Submitted November 30, 2018 at 09:54AM by ChoiceAngle1 https://ift.tt/2rdPPvK