I'll try to keep this short. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years. We are best friends and have a great relationship. He owns a house and I stay with him most of the time, we are planning on buying our own place next year. Currently, his parents live 5 minutes away so we see them quite often which I am okay with, I like them and they like me too. The thing I dont like is how often they come by unexpectedly and want us to be around them all the time.
Some backstory: I am an only child of a single mom, my dad passed away when I was very little. My mother has always been a very independant woman and has raised me to be pretty much the same. My boyfriend grew up in a family of all boys and his mom (she had a rough childhood).
I would like to know of I am being unreasonable or overreacting.
Because his parents love so close by, they randomly pop by pretty much every weekend to hang out for a while or after work during the week. This has happened when we were having sex, heading out the door to go out, when I was violently ill, etc.
Him and I went on a trip last year and he left the keys with his parents to feed the cats. While we were gone, his mother made herself a spare key to his house, rearranged our stuff in the kitchen, and put the cat nail clippers and brushes in with he cutlery (barf).
The day that we came back from our trip, his parents wanted to see us, I just wanted to relax for a day, then go see them after once we had time to unpack which he agreed and told his parents. We went grocery shopping, left some of the bags at the front door then went back out. About 20 minutes later, his mother called him 6 times, all which he didn't respond to. She texted him several times after asking if everything was okay because we had bags at the front door.. this is all after we said we didn't want to go over that same day. Now that they have a key, they stop in once in a while to move things around and fold our laundry.
I expressed to my boyfriend how I didn't like some of these things that they do, but that I also dont feel like it's my place to say anything because 1. Its his parents, not mine and 2. I dont own the house. Hes an extremely passive and kind person, he doesn't like confrontation of any sort but he understands where I was coming from.
He told her in casual conversation one day not to move anything around where we already had it and she just laughed. That was the only thing he said to them about any of that.
It's really starting to drive me crazy and I'm afraid of it happening when we have our own house some day. She once told us we werent allowed to buy a place that was over 15 minutes away from them but I expressed to my boyfriend I will not buy anything near them.
Am I justified to be annoyed by this even though i dont own the house, or is this just my only child syndrome kicking in? I worry that this will happen when we have a house together or when we start trying for kids that they will suddenly be around all the time. What should i do?
TL,DR Boyfriends parents are needy and (in my opinion) cross some boundaries. Do I have a say in this, what should I do and how do I stop this from happening when we have a place together?
Submitted November 18, 2018 at 10:47AM by ccassiopeia https://ift.tt/2QTF9O7
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