Me(22F), my brother(22M) and sister(22F) have a small minded, psychologically manipulating, attention seeking, victimised Mother(58,F) and we don’t know what to do anymore.

I’ll try to keep this relatively short. I don’t really know where to begin. Im writing this with my sister now but my brother is unaware. We are trying to get to the bottom of our mothers issues or trying to find actions we can take to deal with her. We are triplets that are lucky to be well off, We went to private schools, live in a nice area, have never had to experience money struggles fortunately. We all still live at home too.

When we were in year 8, our mother had an affair with my best friends/ family friends dad who we had been on multiple family holidays with and were very close as friends. My siblings and I were left in the dark about the reason our parents split and were told it just wasn’t working out. Years later I came accross some information regarding the affair (mum to this day has never admitted it). To top it all off they have been married for 8 years and we have to live with both of them. To be fair its pretty normal now and I’m good friends with my step siblings after years of not having anything to do with eachother.

My dad has remarried to the most lovely women who I absolutely adore. They are perfect for each other and are absolutely best friends. From what he says to me, after the divorce he experienced severe mental health issues and just had an awful time which I don’t blame him for! I really love my dad and it hurts to remember what he went through. I’m very lucky to have such a great relationship with him and it’s very warming to see what a perfectly healthy, amazing marriage is and I aspire to be that way.

My mother on the other hand is in a marriage that I just don’t ever want to experience. She’s with a rich man, lives in a big house, has fancy cars and goes on amazing holidays. It sounds like the perfect marriage but they have no friends, my mum is always causing drama and she doesn’t work which I guess she doesn’t need to. My mum has severe behavioural issues.

1. She is extremely small minded. She can’t think outside the box (maybe she can but doesn’t want to admit it for attention). She lives in her nice big house and nothing else exists. My sisters ex boyfriend slapped her accross the face and my mother has been defending him. “She probably deserved it” “oh but he’s such a nice guy” “”my name” but you would get slapped if you annoyed your boyfriend like that”

   1. She psychologically manipulates is all day everyday. Constantly unhappy about something, constantly digging into us about something wether it be our work, what we’re eating, how much were sleeping, our studies, our friends, the list goes on. No matter how much we succeed in our lives there is always something to be unhappy about
   2. She constantly is the victim with every aspect of her life. No matter what we do, it’s an inconvenience to her. I will walk into the kitchen and I will notice she’s ignoring me. I ask her a simple question like “have you seen the dogs leash”. She will huff and puff and act dramatic like I have interrupted something serious. She will then say something like “WOAH, can you not do anything for yourself!! You kids... Jesus Christ!!! I have NO IDEA where the leash is!!” Me: oh sorry I just thought you had it last and might know where it is before I start looking.
   3. She is condescending as hell. She thinks my siblings and I are completely inept and are unable to function normally. I listen to her tell my auntie lies about us. She will cry at the drop of a hat and scream at us about how ungrateful we are and that we are spoilt brats if she doesn’t get her way. If we leave a bowl in the sink she will try to explain to us how normal people clean up after themselves and how we are children. In reality it’s 5:30am and I’m late for a long day at work and will come back to it later.

My siblings and I are unsure what her mental issues are. We can’t move out because we’re still studying and can’t afford it. It would also be world war 3 if we moved out but she is pushing us away even though she would have nothing to do if we left. I spend a lot of time at my boyfriends and am planning to move out next year. Is this her being bored and unhappy with her life? Is there underlying problems? What is wrong with her? What can we do/say?

TLDR: my siblings and I are at our wits end with our mothers emotional/behavioural issues.

Edit: We just thought to add she also isn’t supportive when something good happens to us, almost like she’s jealous? AND if she doesn’t get her way she will constantly call our phones crying and hysterics and demand an apology.

Submitted November 27, 2018 at 03:16PM by chipbitch https://ift.tt/2ArSu9y