I'll try to keep this short. Been together 4 years, lived together 3, things started out great then got rocky about 2 years ago. We've been trying to make it work.
He gave me a promise ring on a trip over a year ago, it was a family heirloom of 3 generations. We aren't religious and have talked about getting married in a few more years, and this ring is more of a promise things will be going that way and I'm a part of his family now. I was overjoyed, flattered, and heart melty but also terrified I would lose it. I am a clumsy person and I lose things constantly so I made specific routines for the ring to reduce my risk. I kept it in one of three places if it was not on my finger, always, and kept the box in my purse in case I had it on me and needed to take it off (if I forgot to before work for example).
I lost over 30 pounds since I've been given the ring and over the last two months I haven't been able to wear it as much because it simply doesn't fit anymore. Sometimes I'll pair it with a smaller one to hold it on but all my other jewelery is cheap costume stuff so it's not comfortable really. That paired with being scared of losing it I've been saving to buy a good small ring to go with it. My boyfriend knew all of this since I told him so he wouldn't worry it had anything to do with how rocky things have been even more so lately.
So tonight I realize I haven't seen the ring. I think it's been a few days but it might be upwards of a week and a half. Unusually long period of time but I just got off working 7 days in a row too. I start looking frantically and don't find it. I tell my boyfriend I'm looking for a list at first because I didn't want to worry him until I was sure it wasn't in any of the places. It's not, I start to panic, I go to the bathroom to calm down but end up working myself up, almost passing out thinking of how this will crush him, this might be the nail in the coffin of the relationship, I can't bear his family's faces when they hear I lost a precious heirloom. I decide I can't wait and need to rip off the band-aid. He is playing a video game at the moment but paused it.
He asks me if I'm ok and I say no, brace yourself, I lost the ring. He says oh. I know where it is. I say what. He says he moved it a while ago, he's surprised it took me this long to notice. I sit back and digest this, part of me wondered if he had taken it back while I was looking, and I'm partly relieved he had because it means I didn't lose it.
I ask why he didn't tell me, I've always been worried sick of losing it and he knows about my places. He says he wanted to see how long it took for me to notice, and it was longer than he expected.
I digest this then ask if he wanted to take the ring back, like for real, if he was retracting it.
He says "can I just... " And sort of sighs off and unpauses his game.
At this point I get up and try to recover from the rollercoaster. I end up crying and he sees me on my way to the bathroom to have a bath. He asks what's wrong and I say I tried to ask about the ring and he wouldn't answer so the answer is kind of obvious. He just stares at me so I go lock myself in the bathroom and run a bath. After he comes by and I open it to talk to him. He says he didn't mean not to tell me he just forgot since it's been so long and I wasn't home when he moved it. I say he could have text me when he moved it. He then says "I told you I had ulterior motives" then when I say that was a stupid game to play and a cruel jerk move to out me through thinking I lost it "just to see how long it took". He then reverts back to "I didn't mean not to tell you I just forgot" but he literally just said it had been for ulterior motives!! I bring this up and he just doesn't get it and says he didn't know it would upset me this much and again brings up how long it was and that he knew it was because it didn't fit anymore.
At this point I asked to be left alone.
Reddit, what the fuck. Can you give me perspective, am I being dramatic or is that an incredibly shitty thing to do and a weird way of handling it after the fact?
Tldr: bf hid family heirloom promise ring he gave me to see how long it would take for me to figure it out. Tried to play it off as he just forgot. I've been wearing it less because my weightless makes it not fit.
Submitted November 27, 2018 at 08:10PM by InterplanetTransitCo https://ift.tt/2KCqILV
No comments:
Post a Comment