I (F 27) just found out that my boyfriend (M 29) of 4 years drained his chequing account to buy me an engagement ring.

I've never loved a human this deeply. Our passions, morals and personalities sync on a level that's indescribable. Conversations with this man are effortless and he makes me feel loved everyday.

The reality is, I'm the main breadwinner in our relationship. I'm in the medical field so I spent the majority of my 20s accumulating degrees. I am fortunate to have a stable, decent paying (~$80k/year) career. He, on the other hand, dropped out of community college and has worked a variety of odd jobs for the last ~9 years. It's been difficult for him to find something permanent and full-time (that he enjoys) so most of his jobs have been seasonal work (just over the minimum wage).

We live together in an expensive, downtown city and we each contribute a portion of our pay towards the bills. When he has a few weeks of no pay, I cover rent/food/utilities/entertainment until he finds his next job. During these "dry" weeks, he makes a large effort to take on more of the cleaning and household duties.

You may be wondering, what's the issue? Well, I just found out that he's planning on proposing to me this Christmas and bought an engagement ring. The problem is, this drained his chequing account. He has been using his savings to get by, and now his latest job will be coming to an end next month.

I've started to feel an overwhelming sense of guilt knowing that he's been "struggling" after getting me a ring. It's reached the point where I no longer suggest we eat out or do things outside the house because I know it'll cost money. I am certain that I want to marry this man, but I'm concerned that his difficulty obtaining a long-term, stable job may cause me to develop resentment and also disappoint my parents (who are both doctors). It also hurts to see him struggling financially from time to time.

Would it be emasculating to suggest he hold off on paying any of our joint expenses until he's back on his feet (to make up the cost of the ring?) And for the men out there who make substantially less than their partners, how did that affect your relationship in the long term?

TL;DR - It's been breaking my heart knowing that my boyfriend has used almost all of his money to get me an engagement ring. He works seasonal odd jobs and his latest position is coming to an end. He helps out majorly around the house during the weeks where he is not working. Will it be emasculating to ask him to not pay living expenses for the rest of the year to "make up" the cost of the ring?

Submitted November 17, 2018 at 08:20PM by Contemplation_State https://ift.tt/2r071VH