I [26F] have a co-worker [25F] who makes it clear she does not like me. Our office is hosting her a baby shower during work hours, I feel like I'm expected to buy her a gift.

I work in a small office of maybe 40 people. One of my co-workers has made it very clear she does not like me, for example there is another person with my name and in the office she loudly exclaims "do you mean the mean msrussia, or the nice one?". She even goes to my friends in the office and asks "do you really hang out with msrussia?". The other day she even passive aggressively called me out in our general office chat room, for running a meeting as she put it "incorrectly". The weird thing is I have hardly spoken to this women, and only about work.

The one thing I do not do, as others do, is give her the attention she very clearly craves. She's one of those people that talks a lot about herself and expects people to give her a reaction. During office meetings she will bring up personal things looking for praise or sympathy, etc. I now quite a bit about her even without actually interacting with her personally mostly because she is very loud and talks so much about herself. For example she has stating that she has no other friends outside of work (looking for sympathy from others). I find this behaviour obnoxious, juvenile, and unprofessional, and therefore do not react to it, nor have I ever gone out of my way to be friends with her when I first started. I like to keep work life and my personal life separate. I just keep to myself, do my work, and go home. This is a very temporary job (just doing it to pay the bills) which I leave in 3 weeks anyways, so I don't really care to make any lasting relationships.

So a couple months ago she announced to the whole office, again during an office meeting, that she is pregnant. She also was in my office the other day, telling me and another co-worker who was in the room, how she used to be an alcoholic before she got pregnant, how she feels she might want to go back to drinking and smoking once she has had the baby, and how she wishes she was strong enough to have an abortion before it got to this point (I believe she's at 6 months now). Again, way too personal information for me, and really unprofessional for a work setting.

So, because I presume she was correct, she has no other friends, 2 of our co-workers are hosting her a baby-shower during office hours. The other day, I was asked by my boss if I wanted to "go in on a present for her". Now I'd be fine pitching in $20 or so, but my boss wants to get her a large, expensive gift, that'll require pitching in way more than that. Also I'm a recent graduate, with tons of student loans, I live extremely frugally, and I'm saving for some big things like surgery coming up, and a cross-continental move!

So pretty much I really don't want to get this women a gift, first because she's passive aggressively mean to me, has voiced that opinion with my co-workers, and she doesn't even want her baby! I'm not sure what to do. I'm to the point where I'm thinking of faking sick that day to avoid work, but that's an 8 hour days of work I can't afford to lose! I think it's so unprofessional that we are even doing this! This shouldn't be an event during work hours, and shouldn't make us feel like it's mandatory.

Also should I talk to her about her behaviour towards me? I just want to know why she acts this way towards me. And I don't understand why the reason for the gossip she keeps spreading about me. I leave in 3 weeks so I really don't care what else happens in the office, I just want to know the reason behind all this behaviour and how/why I triggered it.

TLDR: Pretty much bullied by co-worker, but office is hosting her a baby-shower because she has no other friends (her own words) and I feel I'm expected to buy her a gift.

- Sorry if there are any grammar mistakes. English is second language.

Edit: Thank you everyone for your responses! This actually made me cry, because it was only yesterday that she was passive aggressive to me in the chat, and I was asked to pitch in for her gift today.
I just wanted to add, I really would just not give a gift, I just don't want to cause an awkward situation. If she's already telling people that "I'm the mean one", being the one that doesn't give her a gift might just fuel that fire and make other people think that she is right. I really don't want to give anything, and I'm now even thinking of ways to skip that day all together, call in sick or something, but I just can't afford to lose that day of work. Again thank you so much for your responses!

Submitted November 02, 2018 at 07:19PM by msrussia https://ift.tt/2SHeZzl