Around this time last year a male coworker and myself slightly fell off due to relationship issues on either side. We didn’t communicate as much but still said hi at work and so on. We were good friends and before this spoke almost everyday about our families and so on. I was trying to work on my relationship while he had found out some bad news about his wife but had also confided in another friend of his that ended up helping him a great deal. Soon there would be rumors that they were together. When the new year came in, I left my bf of 6 years. Once the old friend heard about this he started communicating with me more. Conversations were pretty normal. I was newly single so he would ask if I’d be dating soon, or when I was going to, my type, asking if I’d date this or that person. It didn’t seem weird to me at the time, until mutual friends started coming to me and telling me that this friend was also asking them personal questions about me. Asking what I like, if I say anything about him, including asking to put in good words for him. I had and still have no intention of dating anyone after that relationship for at least a long time. During this time I grew increasingly irritated because he was leading this girl on while also trying to get in with me. It also led to him texting me non stop and when I don’t respond he’d ask me at work why i left him on ‘read’, to shoving me or bumping me with things (similar to little kids ‘they do that because they like you’ type stuff.) then to also punching the side of my car to get my attention. I was growing irritated, anxious, and nervous because as much as I stood my ground not wanting to involve myself he was always right behind me pushing back. I also had a fear of him retaliating if I ever said the wrong thing to him. Finally I told some higher ups at work who would help arrange things so we didn’t have to see each other at work so much and this helped with going full no contact. In doing so, he still bugged mutuals about me and now involved some of the new workers that I’m now friends with. Since most of our mutual friends left our work, he has now used our newer mutual friends to try and get back into my life.
I’ve tried explaining to him on one night where we got stuck next to each other that I don’t care to be friends with anyone who leads people on and puts me in the middle of that potential drama. That I didn’t wanna date anyone and asking friends behind my back was super shady and I can’t bother with people like that. The entire time time I had this conversation with him it was a lot of “I don’t understand” “but why” and so on. I ended things with “I don’t have to explain anything to you, but if I don’t wanna talk to you, I just don’t.”. This helped a bit because he really stepped off.
Until recently because my new friends talk to him. He has now even invited himself to sit with us during our breaks which led to being invited to our group outings. Now this past weekend we went out and almost everyone bailed, and left three girls and three guys, including me and him. Our other friends paired off and left me with him, and don’t worry, I’m making sure they get theirs for putting me in that situation. I wasn’t bother at first since it’s been months since we’ve talked, he keeps his distance, and doesn’t try to talk to me unless it’s in a group setting. This night, I became the designated driver and he sat in the passenger seat on the way home grilling me about what happened and why, and if there was anything he could do. It’s like he can’t take no for an answer and waits to corner me to continue to harass me about why he can’t be in my life, I don’t know what to anymore. I’m at the point where I’d rather change jobs than to constantly deal with this person. Every time I feel like I’m done with this he keeps coming back to pester me about the past and to beg me for a friendship or potential relationship. I’ve told him I want nothing to do with him, friends have told him on my behalf, and then I’ve told him again the last night we all went out. I’m tired of doing this, what other options do I have to keep him away?
TL;DR; : Male coworker continues to bug me about why we can’t be friends, making me more and more nervous, while thinking about leaving job. What else can I do so I don’t have to leave?
Submitted November 18, 2018 at 02:12PM by stephief92 https://ift.tt/2QTrfLM
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