Tl;dr Girlfriend saw me checking out a girl and feels like I cheated and can no longer trust me
I [26M] was at a bar on Halloween with my girlfriend [23F] of 10 months. She went off with her friends and as I was standing talking with her brother, she came up to me in a fury and told me she saw me checking out some girl in front of me. She says I was staring for 5 or 10 minutes straight (pretty sure the total time elapsed was < 5) and that I was looking at that girl the same way I look at my girlfriend, aka with love, adoration, lust, desire, insatiable appetite, protective.
It's probable I was absent-mindedly looking - I was honestly engrossed in our conversation, and I go out of my way to never look at other girls, even when I'm not around my girlfriend, to the point where day-to-day interactions get awkward.
I told her I didn't realize I was and she is the only for me and I'm so sorry for making her feel like she's not enough.
She can't get over it. She broke up with me over it, stating that it's obvious I'm "curious" and will never be able to stay loyal. She then decided to reverse her decision and try to work through it.
A bit of backstory: My girlfriend came from an abusive relationship with a serial cheater. She constantly accuses me of checking out girls I didn't even know were in our vicinity, regardless of their age or attractiveness. Never once has she accused me of anyone I'd find even remotely attractive. I do all I can to show her she's my one and only; I don't even watch porn. I don't go to strip clubs. Also, she is my first ever girlfriend. I dated around a bit but was never serious before her.
She has a strong set belief that men are incapable of true loyalty in relationships, to the point where she has set plans that, on my birthday from age 30 on, she wants me to spend a night with a different girl to "satisfy" me. I always tell her I want her alone and that there's no way I'm going to choose anyone else. I tell her I'll let her make that rule, but she's the only one I love. And that's pure truth: I have no interest in other girls.
We will be good, enjoying a moment, and suddenly the mood will change and she says "How do I move on from this?" "I thought I could trust you, I thought you were different."
I work at a job with all guys. I did this for her. I do not have wandering eyes, I have self control.
I have set up a couples counseling appointment with her consent. I need to fix this. There are a lot of things we need to work through but I've never seen her like this. She feels as though I've cheated. My version of the story - and all my excuses - and whether I even found the girl attractive (I honestly don't remember what she looked like) - these things don't matter because perception is 90% of reality and if my girlfriend feels betrayed I can't ignore it.
How do I fix this? I am at a loss. What do I do? How can I show her that I'm all about her?
Ever since I met her I take her on dates, buy her things, send random flowers, write her love notes, tell her how perfect she is and how much she means to me. Now when I complement her she shudders and asks "really? Do you even find me attractive?" "Am I enough for you?"
I'm at a loss. I have no idea what to do.
Edit: removed some irrelevant information
Submitted November 02, 2018 at 07:53AM by saveourlifeplease https://ift.tt/2qqgDJ2
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