My wife (40/F) spends hours in the bathroom leaving me feeling very alone (35/M)

I need to get this off my chest. Apologies if it comes across as a whine.

We have 1 toddler, who my wife looks after as a full time mum. We don't have any family locally and a small network of friends. We've been together for 10 years, married for 4.

I don't get home until around 7:30pm at the earliest, more often than not after 8pm, sometimes much later due to my commute and evening commitments (have multiple jobs to afford living here). I don't have many friends and my wife is my only real friend in this city.

Because she is exhausted caring for a demanding toddler, she will often put our child to bed by 8:30pm and then go into the bathroom for 'me time' where she will easily spend anywhere from 1-3 hours using oils, bathing, etc, usually emerging after midnight. This starts after I arrive home, which often means I eat dinner alone and then sit on the sofa browsing reddit or watching TV

By midnight I am exhausted, so is she. Our sex life suffers as either side of period/pre-period (up to 2 weeks) there is often little or no contact, little conversation. For the remaining 2 weeks in the month we may have sex a few times, which is often amazing, but leaves me wondering why we can't be like this (closeness, playful, happier) more often.

I have suggested childminders, nannies, etc (we can't afford more than a few hours a week) and my wife is now waiting for my toddler to start part-time nursery (2 hours a day) before she will contemplate getting a job. I've tried to work from home but I don't get anything done and ineveitably a petty fight breaks out about something which in hindsight is trivial.

I feel we're drifting apart. The few times I've suggested we spend more time together in the evenings meaning less 'me time' has predictably been met with anger and accusations of not caring about how hard she works. It's taking a toll on us both and I'm afraid we will crash out of this marriage and wonder 'why' we let it happen.

Submitted August 01, 2018 at 02:34AM by crashingout2018 https://ift.tt/2MaVTOG