I [31 M] received an incredibly rude response from a girl [24 F] on online dating, but I'm wondering if she was right.

A girl messaged me recently on online dating (which is a rarity since most interactions on OLD are initiated by dudes). Her profile seems all right, so we start chatting.

After a bit she tells me I'm cute but decides I'm too far away to date regularly and says so (despite the fact I'm about 30 mins away in the next town over). I say no problem, good luck and I hope you find what you're looking for. Leave it at that.

So a few days later she messages me AGAIN, saying she hasn't found anyone else she was really interested in on the site. We start chatting again, and she's hinting she might be interested in something with me, maybe something casual.

We're having a decent-enough back and forth. At one point, she disappears and I don't hear back from her for a couple days. Send her a message after said couple days, literally just saying "Hi, was just wondering if you were still interested in chatting." Nothing else.

A couple days later she replies telling me how cringey it was that I asked her if she was still interested, and that she read the message to her friends and they all cringed, too. She was extremely blunt about this and displayed no tact whatsoever.

At this point I'm completely bewildered. All I did was ask if she still wanted to talk, and I wasn't planning to get back in touch if she didn't reply. I found her response incredibly, incredibly rude and told her so, and that I was done talking to her.

However a female friend I ran this situation by, while agreeing that the girl handled it incredibly rudely and harshly, thought she had a point in that asking "are you still interested" can come off as needy or desperate.

Did I screw up massively by simply asking if this girl was still interested? Sometimes people just forget to respond, and that's all I meant by it. I've asked women that in the past, and some have responded very positively, and even those I never heard back from at least didn't bite my head off for asking. And there's no way I would have reacted that way to someone sending a message like that to me. It would have been one thing if I kept messaging her over and over, but this was literally one message in a span of 4 or 5 days. And just to be clear, I don't want to talk to this girl again

I feel like as a guy we're constantly told you can't seem needy or desperate, and I get that, but if you make one misstep then suddenly women will perceive you that way. And obviously all girls are different just as men are, but the fact that this girl claimed that all her friends reacted the same way really made me wonder if I broke some sort of obvious "talking to women 101" rule.

And now I'm just determined never to send a follow-up message of any kind again. And since I'm second-guessing myself, I feel like I'm breaking the "chicks dig confidence" rule and I feel even dumber and more clueless because of that. Maybe I just overthink stuff too much...

TL;DR; : A girl on online dating rudely told me that me simply asking her if she was still interested in chatting after a couple days' silence was incredibly cringey. Does she have a point, despite the rudeness?

Submitted July 31, 2018 at 07:35PM by throwaway100731 https://ift.tt/2LIgOfJ