My GF (F25) has reached her limit with me (M26) not losing the weight I’ve put on in our relationship in the last 1.5 years. She even entered me in a study about weight gain without my permission. How can I fix this relationship if it’s not beyond repair? What proactive conversations should we have?

I’ve (M26) been with my girlfriend (F25) for a bit over three years now. We’ve lived together since around the beginning of the pandemic. In the last year and a half, I’ve put on some weight. I think I was around 155 pounds before and I’m about 250 pounds now. Over the last 6 months, we’ve really argued about my weight and her desire for me to lose it as soon as possible.

School has gotten way busier for me (I’m a med student), I’m back in the clinic I’ve been assisting at, always in classes, eating at work for lunch. Staying late and having to order dinner. I’ve been having a tough time and my weight has definitely gotten a bit out of control. My girlfriend started off being a bit concerned and making sure my mental health was ok and trying to encourage me to walk more and eat better, but that’s devolved into full on antagonizing. She’s always telling me how out of shape I’ve gotten and giving me ultimatums about leaving me if I don’t start taking steps to lose weight or dropping pounds immediately.

I know it is concern but I feel like it’s entered her being embarrassed over my size and not wanting me around at public events anymore. I guess maybe because I haven’t done much yet or taken this too seriously, I’m an asshole and it could be said I haven’t respected her wishes either. She claims I wear clothes that are innappropriate and never look put together anymore. I’ve gained most all of this weight in my gut and she even makes jokes that I look pregnant and that something is medically abnormal. Maybe she’s right, but I really don’t think it’s that extreme or worth being this upset over even if she’s true.

But, in some attempt to shame me/motivate me, my girlfriend apparently submitted an application posing as me for a study being conducted by our university’s medical school about how specific foods and diets contribute to abdominal weight gain. I received an email that said:

“Thank you for applying for our study of Android fat distribution. You have been selected due to your physical statistics standing as an anomaly within our data set. Your weight & waist measurement (across the center of your abdomen) exceed average records for US males and far exceeds those with your age bracket (18-28). Our study aims to track the distribution of android fat growth (upper body andipose tissue) on subjects within our group. You would be an ideal subject for our study, particularly in regard to abdominal obesity. The study would involve following a strict diet, recording your achievement & growth (diets are tailored to a participants geographic region and dietary requirements) and coming in for weekly photographs, measurements. Financial reimbursement is provided.

The strict guidelines will be explained in full in your file, however the main criteria for your particular test category are:

• a stomach measuring over 48”
• a weight over 240 pounds
• recently gained over 50lbs in the last 12 months
• body fat percentage of over 30%
• aged 18-28”

Sure enough, it’s real too, and I know because I’m a medical student at our university. I’m so humiliated she’d do this especially knowing colleagues of mine would see all of my information. One of my peers actually working on that study actually approached me, too, and said something like: “Can’t wait to see what new heights you take this thing to in our study!” and slapped my belly and laughed. It was so humiliating. I confronted her and she said she needed to do something extreme to finally get me to “realize how bad I’ve gotten.”

Am I in the wrong for letting my weight get this bad despite my girlfriend’s concerns? Or is she for submitting me to this study without my knowledge and continuing to be so hard on me? Can this relationship be saved? Is she over exaggerating how bad this is?

TLDR: I’ve put almost 100 pounds in the last 1.5 years of my and my girlfriend’s relationship. She’s voiced her concerns for some time but is now giving me ultimatums and going to extreme measures to get her point across. Is this relationship salvageable and how?

Submitted July 06, 2022 at 11:12PM by absinthe_1995 https://ift.tt/mPr7qUk