My partner (32f) comes from an upper middle class family, had a professional sports career where she made good money, and has now retired. She's now pursuing medical school and is living off of investment money (so has no job income, and will be studying/residency for another 6-7 years). She owns her house outright (no mortgage).
I (33m) come from a working class family and I have a decent paying job with a small amount saved that I was intending to use for a down payment on a house.
We've been dating for just about a year and we're thinking about living together. Since she already owns her house, it might make sense to live there. It's a nice house and a nice neighborhood, but for just myself I wouldn't necessarily choose to live in that location or style of house because of the additional cost. I currently live in a place with cheap rent that I'm happy with, since it allows me to save money. At her place I would pay double my current rent (for my share of market rate rent) and more in utilities.
I don't love the idea of spending more money on housing and missing out on saving more, especially if it doesn't work out. If I'm going to pay more for housing, I'd rather it go towards something that I have a stake in. That said, we do not want to entertain any rent-to-own or equity sharing for her house at this time (in case things don't work our for whatever reason and get legally messy).
I would like to contribute equitably, and would love to hear ideas about a fair way to approach this. Thanks!
TL;DR: Girlfriend owns her house, I don't wanna pay more rent, what's fair?
EDIT: To be clear, my partner is not trying to extort me and is a very nice and reasonable person. She understands that paying market might not be fair, so we're just trying to get some perspective on what would be! We're not looking to move in together for another few months.
EDIT 2: Wow my most popular Reddit post, thanks y'all! I missed an important detail in my previous description, she already has a bedroom rented out in her house at market rate. That renter will be leaving in a few months and their room would become "my" room, so there's a tangible financial cost to my partner by having me move in and NOT pay market rate rent for the room. Btw we're in Canada.
Submitted March 08, 2022 at 08:53PM by subluminalmessages https://ift.tt/6HGc2uI
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