My (49f) husband (62m) feels attacked whenever I bring up something that he did or said that hurt me or bothered me. He even takes it as a personal attack if I bring up something that I would like him to change or improve on. So instead of focusing on hearing what I’m asking him to change and focusing on what I need him to change or improve on or even the hurt that he caused me, he instead internalizes what I’m saying and views it as a personal attack on him. He is then overly focused on his own hurt that he fails to see what he’s doing wrong or how he’s hurting me.
This pattern of behavior has been disastrous throughout our relationship. Not only do things not get fixed and the relationship fails to improve, but additionally, he’s built up resentment from me “complaining about him”. This has caused him to emotionally distance himself and resulted in a drastic decline in our intimacy. He completely fails to see that he needs to focus on and change the issues that I am bringing up and not focus on them as a personal attack against him by me.
This problem has weakened our relationship in many ways, caused a breakdown in our emotional trust of each other, and caused big problems in our intimacy. I have reached my breaking point that I’m asking for a divorce. I love my husband but I can’t live with this anymore. Has anyone else experienced this? Is there anything that I can do to overcome this obstacle that has plagued us for years and is now pushing me to end my marriage? Tl;dr my husband interprets my complaints as personal attacks on him. This results in the problem not getting addressed or changed and has therefore caused hurt on his part and a breakdown of our relationship.
Submitted September 07, 2021 at 02:41AM by passingbyhere220 https://ift.tt/3BFRUTw
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