My (23m) girlfriend (20f) slept and cuddled with her (22m) friend who she has previously made out with before we started dating

I’m really torn between whether I should be angry or not. They have kissed a month or two before we started dating well over a year ago, which I’d never heard of before even while we’ve talked about things like this, and apparently that was the end of it.

However, they had a party a few days ago, after which they slept together and cuddled(?). The friend, who’s also in a long-term relationship, had asked if they could “go further” (I don’t know exactly how far they had gone, I didn’t want to hear), but she had refused. The guy has apparently had feelings for her for a longer time now as well, and they’ve started becoming better and better friends over the past few months (they’re both in the same group of friends).

I don’t really know how to feel. On one hand she knew to stop and told me about it a few days later, which the guy isn’t going to do for his girlfriend. But, on the other hand she never told me about making out with one of her friends before, who I’ve also met numerous times, and seemed to be okay with whatever they were doing until the guy had suggested sex.

She also talked about how it was made easy since they’d already blown past the “barrier” by kissing before, which left me baffled at her explanation and I really didn’t know what to say.

I wanted to tell her that I wasn’t surprised, which I’m not since she’s a lot younger and impulsive, but how should I handle this? She said it’s okay if I feel like she has betrayed my trust or if I feel violated somehow. I told her I’d think this through, but I haven’t been able to really form any concrete thoughts yet, two days later. We don’t live together or even in the same city, and have never discussed our relationship being open.

TL;DR: my (23m) girlfriend (20f) cuddled/made out with her (22m) friend who she had kissed/made out with once before we started dating.

Submitted May 06, 2021 at 02:56PM by Elegant-Background77 https://ift.tt/3eq95iV