So my girlfriend (29) and I (31) have been together for six years. When we met, she was what i would characterize as chubby. She had begun exercising and eating healthier though and the sheer beauty of her face and personality overwhelmed any concerns about her weight from either an attraction or health perspective. Quickly though, she started putting on weight. She got a new job which was very demanding at first and stopped exercising. They were always bringing in unhealthy foods at the office (donuts around 10; pizza lunch at 1) and this, coupled with ceasing to exercise, led her to gain and gain and gain. I would say she has gained about 40 pounds from when we first met to early 2020. Now in early 2020, she got diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. The doctor said if she lost 15 pounds she wouldn't need to go on insulin and would be able to make it with pills. She lost about 10 and this actually proved to be sufficient. She now manages things with pills.
She lost the first 10 pretty easily. She simply ate less crap. However, she didn't exercise more really. Since then, her doctor has told her that, based on his analysis of her blood sugar levels, she could actually conquer her diabetes if she lost another 15 pounds. He said that until this happens, though, he will keep her on the pills. Her reaction to this is 'It's fine I'm good on the pills.' This strikes me as insane. She has a near certain chance to no longer be diabetic by losing 15 points but she'd rather stay on pills than exercise (she has been eating healthier though; not great but healthier).
Then about three weeks ago she started exercising when the weather turned nice. It lasted about five days. Then she said she was too tired and felt it wasn't making a difference. I've always been lean but back in college, I worked on putting some muscle on and it was freakin hard. Unlike with losing weight, you work your ass off and wait a good six weeks to really see results. With weight loss, usually 3 weeks to a month gets you real results but, after not having a miracle change in 5 days, she gave up.Talking to her about this is hard. She told me once that her mother made her feel so bad about being overweight as a teenager that when she actively tries to lose weight she starts feeling like shit, like if it doesn't work out (and it never has) she is worthless and defined by being overweight and unable to stop being overweight. All other qualities she likes about herself such as her intelligence get instantly devalued.
I get this and try to be sensitive but I admit that I am bothered by her weight for both aesthetic reasons (she looked much better when she was just a little chubby) and health reasons. She wants to have kids and I think going into that while still diabetic is really dangerous. I also think that, though sensitivity is required, there is a laziness issue as well. She's not mentally lazy by any means; though her job is less demanding now she puts in a decent amount of hours and she's very into mind puzzles of all kinds as a former philosophy major. But I do think it's not just a mental block. It's also just like a matter of, you know, exercising at first is hard! If anyone could offer some advice it would be much appreciated.
TLDR: Girlfriend put on significant amount of weight since we met, then got diagnosed with diabetes, lost a bit but not that much even though losing further weight would put her in remission. This bothers me and I want to help get her to a healthier place.
Submitted April 23, 2021 at 07:03PM by throwitawayapril2021 https://ift.tt/32JRegs
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