Boyfriend's female best friend who is also my my best friend makes me fee uncomfortable. Am i being crazy?

Me (25F) and my bf (25M) have been in a relationship for 5 years. We met i college and he's my first relationship ever and he is THE one. We're both very serious about it. He is perfect to me in everthing, respectful,loving, loyal, kind, has stayed with me through really difficult times and just as perfect a bf as one could imagine except one thing.

Before the start of our relationship, he had a female friend (24F) who he was kind of best friends with. He is generally very kind type so it didnt mean anything for me when he used to go out of his way to help her mostly emotionally. (EDIT: I personally don't have any male friend because A) i don't trust guys alot and B) he doesn't like it and had asked me to keep it in consideration. My wording projected a negative intention of his but it has more to do with my own personal preference)

Point to be noted here is he was not like this with any other female in his circle. But i never stopped him for being friends with her because it never occured to me that i could have a problem with her. Eventually she became my best friend too because we used to hang out with her alot. She is a very genuine and a kind person and i honestly love her. I never want something bad for her but i know for a fact that she used to have a crush on him. She never acted on it thought because he was with me soon after she had it. She has always gone out of her way to help me which just felt like she was paying me back for him helping her, or sometimes it felt to me that she was doing it just for his sake.

Now me and him have been in a ldr since 2 years, different parts of the world. They have exchanged "i love yous" but when i confronted him about it he said it was all platonic and i really believe him. So he didnt stop doing it. 5 years later i am having alot of problems with her being so close to him. I feel like he deliberately tried and succeeded in making her my friend and this makes me feel very used. It came to the point where i avoided hanging out with both of them together and feeling incredibly insecure about everything. I feel like she is better than me in everything and could replace me in his life whenever he wants.

Also we have had multiple fights about her which i asked him jot to tell her but he always brought her in the loop. It is kind of important to me to not let other people know we're fighting, and two years back when i asked him to leave her he told me infront of her that he would leave me too. I was constantly thinking about her and him and hurt me to the point that it became unbearable.

Now after our recent argument about it, he has effectively ended all contact with her and hasn't told her any reason. She cries to me often about how he is ignoring her but i let her know subtly that its because of me.

I feel incredibly guilty for doing this to my best friend as he was really important to her but at the same time i had to save my own relationship for the future too. Since they stopped talking i have been feeling more close to her and him individually. I also feel quiet relaxed and don't have panic attacks about it anymore.

I never meant to make them stop talking, all i wanted was since forever to have him set some boundaries but he has proven iver and over again that he is incapable of it.

What should i do? Should i let them talk again and just bear the whole pain of it (i have been doing this for 5 years) or should i continue acting like a bitch (as i feel)?

TL;DR i feel guilty for making my best friend who is also best friend of my bf stop talking because it was making me feel insecure

Submitted April 22, 2021 at 03:29PM by RareElk2 https://ift.tt/3dG79T6