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My (19F) mother (47F) gets upset with me when I ask about/use my money.

My mother has had access to my savings account since I was 13, so she’s the one who manages it for me. I haven’t removed her from the account because every time I bring it up she gets extremely mad at me, almost irrationally so.

Over the summer I was under the impression that I would have to pay for school myself, due to both of my parents saying so to me multiple times. Around the time that things we’re due I started to get upset because my mother had access to my account but I didn’t, even though I was supposed to pay. I had asked if I could see my account and also be put on it so I could check when I wanted to without asking, and told her she could still be on it if she wanted, I didn’t care. Immediately after she started yelling at me, saying that she makes so much more money than me so she didn’t need to be on my account, and that I’d be broke if she didn’t manage it, then hung up on me. My dad called me after and said I need to be gentler on my mom because she’s getting older.

So to the current issue, a few days ago I finally got my unemployment benefits. It was about 3k, and I was excited because I was living off of $25 a week that my parents would send me (I’m on campus). My dad just told me not to spend it all, but my mother insisted I put it all in my savings, but again when I brought up me getting access to my savings she deflected.

The first thing I did was buy some things for myself that my parents just wouldn’t. I got a few pairs of shoes and some winter clothes, along with eating out a few times. So after 4 days, I had spent about $500. In hindsight I do feel like I overspent, but I don’t feel too bad about it because I spent it on things I needed. I also don’t have much else to buy, so I was planning on putting 2k in my savings when I could.

Then yesterday at 11am I get a call from my mother and she’s furious. I find out that she’s been tracking my spending and is mad that I spent so much money on myself when her and my father have already been spending so much on me (meaning they paid my tuition and gave me money to go out when I visited home for a week). She said that I’ll have to pay rent when I’m home from now on. I was extremely tired at the time so I just listened and agreed. A bit later my dad calls and says while he isn’t mad at what I spent my money on, he says I could have waited on some things so I didn’t spend so fast, and I agree with him. He didn’t bring up what my mom said to me, so I’m assuming she didn’t really mean it.

I have a pretty great relationship with my mom, so whenever she gets like this it always throws me for a loop. She’s usually pretty laid back and strict when necessary. I want to know if I’m thinking too hard or if this might be a real issue. I feel bad whenever she says I’d just spend it all, but I also feel like I’m old enough to at least have a bit of say in my finances.

TLDR; My mom gets really mad when I ask about or use the money I’ve earned. Some of the things she’s said are concerning me, but I’m not sure if she’s right or being irrational.



Submitted October 24, 2020 at 06:12PM by nyloncover https://ift.tt/2HCEnVR
My (19F) mother (47F) gets upset with me when I ask about/use my money. My (19F) mother (47F) gets upset with me when I ask about/use my money. Reviewed by KING SAMUEL on October 24, 2020 Rating: 5

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