My boyfriend [34/m] is upset with me [30/f] and is shutting me out. I don't know if this is fair and I'm really struggling.

So I have my issues, for sure. I have a lot of anxiety and feelings of low self-worth, and I have a problem with asking him way too often for reassurance. I also worry I'm not enough for him, which, for some reason, makes me pick a fight when he hangs out with his friends sometimes. I am aware this is not okay and am working on it. We've been fighting a lot recently because of my issues, even more so than normal because of being stuck together.

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Today, he played games with his friends for several hours, and I wanted us to go outside and get out of the apartment (we had briefly talked about doing this the night before). I didn't say anything, but when he was done, I was a bit sullen because it was getting late in the day, and because, even though I also love the same video games he does, he hardly ever wants to play with me (especially not for several hours). We ended up getting into a fight. He told me I was controlling (I think I definitely can be) and he couldn't take it anymore. He brought up breaking up. I told him I really wanted to fix my shit and brought up the ways I'm working on it (seeing a therapist, reading a book about DBT, recently starting to exercise, etc). He said that he was willing to give it a bit more time but he needed space. He said if he had it his way, we would live apart for a few days but we obviously can't do that because we live together.

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So I said I would give him space, and he hasn't acknowledged me or said a word to me once since then. I walked in a room he was in to ask if he wanted dinner and said this was really hard for me, being in the same space (small apartment) and not talking, and he said something like, "This is you being controlling again. I told you I need some space and you're coming in and interrupting it." I told him I still expected to be treated with kindness and civility and not just ignore each other all day, and he said again that I was trying to control how he used his 'space' and that this is what I always do. He also said something like, "You're showing me right now that you can't handle this space thing so maybe we should just break up", to which I had to basically convince him not to do it (which makes me feel about 1 inch tall).

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I have no idea how long he intends this to go on for, but I have anxiety issues and I'm already feeling incredibly anxious and sad. I feel like what he's doing isn't right. I agree with giving him space, but it feels like he's using it as a power trip now to get what he wants. Is this fucked up? I know I'm not an angel and definitely have things to work on, but I feel completely disregarded. I don't think I can go on for days or a week like this-- it already is horrible. Or is his behavior justified? Thank you in advance :(

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TL;DR: Boyfriend wants space from me and won't let me talk to him or ask him things about the conditions of the break because he says that is me being controlling.

Submitted April 05, 2020 at 07:15PM by Budget_Mongoose https://ift.tt/2VasXfr