My mom [49F] is throwing a bit of a tantrum about her upcoming birthday... I [29F] don't know what to do

My mom was raised Jehovah's Witness and as such never had a birthday party growing up. In a few months, she will be turning 50 and declared that she wanted to have a birthday party since she's "never had one". I gently reminded her that I have thrown family parties with steak and lobster for her and done dinners and have tried to make her feel celebrated. She said that a family party doesn't count and she wanted a big bash with all of her friends.

I was a little miffed at her downplaying my efforts, but I thought "no sweat, I'll rent a venue or a bar and invite people" easy peasy, I thought, I could do it once and pat myself on the back for pulling through for my mom.

Over the past few weeks, her birthday party idea somehow morphed into a trip to Las Vegas, which would be financed by my dad. (They divorced when I was little, but have remained close friends.)

My dad makes a very comfortable living, but he's not rich by any means. He went ahead and reserved a nice little villa. He also said that he would be willing to pay for plane tickets for my mom, older brother, brother's girlfriend, brother's brother, my boyfriend, my son, and himself.

My mom immediately started being a diva. My older brother is my half brother (not biologically my father's child, but my dad's been in his life since my brother was 4) and my brother's brother was adopted by my brother's father. My brother and his brother come as sort of a package deal. They do everything together. My dad loves them both as if they were his own. My mom loves her son, of course, but she doesn't like his brother and thinks he's a mooch just because we incorporate him into our family. She declared she does NOT want him coming to her birthday. She also decided she doesn't want my brother's girlfriend either, since they've only met once.

Tonight she declared to my dad that she wants to bring like 6 of her girlfriends. My dad said he couldn't provide accommodations for all of them as well, and my mom got pissed. She's now saying she doesn't want to go on this trip because people are going that she doesn't want to be there and she's pissed that nobody is willing to fly her coven out and put them up for a week.

Then, she called me to vent about it and accused me of "placating" her and ended up hanging up on me...

I don't know what to do. My dad already reserved the house and put down a deposit that's honestly as much as I make in a month, so he wants to still just go on the trip without her and hope that she'll eventually come around. I know that if we go without her she will literally never forgive us... I'm just at a loss.

Tl;dr: my dad's trying to throw a party to remember for my mom and she's being a huge brat and now threatening not to go.

Submitted January 01, 2020 at 09:06PM by howditcome2this https://ift.tt/35cmofa