I've been dating my bf for 2 years, he has anxiety and I'm trying to figure out where the line between being "supportive" and "martyring" is drawn.
I grew up in an abusive household and deal with my fair share of anxiety/depression. I lift heavy things and put them back down, drink the clear splashy stuff, go to therapy, hug trees, focus on my career, friendships, etc. It helps some of the time but I don't think I'll ever not have anxiety/depression. That's okay, it's a facet of my life and I accept that. I've got it under control the majority of the time and completely empathize with my bf, who struggles with anxiety as well. But he doesn't seem to be trying to handle his and it's actively stressing me out.
My boyfriend has lived a pretty blessed life. He graduated from college about 2 years ago and hasnt been able to adjust or handle the day to day to do list of adulthood. Paying bills, getting gas, groceries, cooking, etc stresses him out. It makes him upset, prone to temper outbursts, panic attacks, even physical manifestation of his anxiety. Severe stomach cramps that we've gone to the ER for. He's lost weight and is afraid to eat because his stomach hurts so badly.
My heart breaks for him but it's affecting our relationship/my own mental health. I don't know what to do. I've taught him all the ways I deal with my own anxiety - gym routines, therapy, alcohol, obsessive cleaning, meal planning, focused goals, journaling, to name a few. I'm not saying they're all winners but it's how I'm muddling through. I've done research, made doc appts for him, sat with him through the panic attacks, gone with him to the doc, talked him through game plans, listened to give solutions, listened just to be there, everything I can think of. Idk what else to do. I feel numb. He says he's trying but I don't see it. I just see him repeating the same behaviors and expecting different outcomes.
I don't know if I should stay by his side while he figures everything out. He's a good person and I know I genuinely love him. Is it selfish to leave? Is it foolish to stay?
Tldr; my boyfriend has severe anxiety over mundane tasks and isn't dealing with it very well. It's making my own anxiety worse. Is this reason enough to break up?
Submitted January 01, 2020 at 08:19PM by Peachdeeptea https://ift.tt/2FeNMPb
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